holiness in action

yhvh says in torah, be holy. what is holy? the question reverberates in me as i tune in to the day's news. and there they are. galaxies of strangers shining in devastated places in tornado hit region. they see what happens. they are moved to come. no one forces them to do it. no one pays them to do it. they roll up their sleeves. they open their purses. their faces shine like the sun. their eyes sparkle like stars. i realize i am watching holiness in action. the sense of separateness dissolve. that which is sacred in me sees that which is sacred in each and everyone of them.

singing 'shree ram jay ram' in sleep

hwubby says, you sing in your sleep. i say, what do i sing? he says, shree ram jay ram jay jay ram. i am stunned and thrilled. the divine name flows out of me in the sleep state? i see this as a really fantastic marker in my progress towards full realization. may this development expands and permeates the waking state. may the sound of shree ram jay ram jay jay ram reverberate in the mind always. may i be
'stuck' and 'trapped' in the present moment. there's nowhere else i'd rather be. may it be so.

my inner self is like a crystal vase

my teacher says something to this effect, no matter how much one describes love, one can't fully convey the experience of love. this is how i feel about describing my meditation experience. for a start i can't even say by what means i arrive at this exquisitely quiet place. is it diving? plunging? rising? gliding? how do i explain a place that is dark and bright all at once? on one hand i am aware of the body with all its contours and limits. on another hand i am definitely in a place that has no horizons as far as i can see. the place is wide open. yet it feels full as well as spacious. the silence is sublime. a steady throb subtly reverberates. it's the vibration of strength, the resonance of courage, the wavelength of pure joy, the frequency of supreme fulfillment. and then they blend into a harmonic sound of gratitude. yes. i come out of formal sitting meditation and this thankfulness keeps on bubbling within. how fortunate i am to be able to be with this treasure within. i walk into the kitchen and a surprise wonder. morning lights are choreographing a magnificent dance off the grand crystal vase on the table by the window. my inner self is sort of like a super grand crystal vase emanating these beautiful lights that shine through me.

i can plan ahead better when i am in the present

there i am meditating in the sweet vibration of the vedic hymn, aloft in the quiet ocean deep of the breath and i see clearly an insight illuminating on something i'm working on in the novel. i write down the key words and return my awareness to the breath.

a little while later i begin chanting a sanskrit sacred text of 182 verses with my bright and marvelous yogic community. on one hand i am into it with all my body, all my mind, and all my might. one another hand one bright and clear insight comes after another. they are all instructions or questions that guide me to properly take care of certain life situations, some of which have long term implications . in fact i can see subtle things beneath the surface of circumstantial twists that i didn't see before. i am able to connect dots in a surprising way. you bet i write all of them down. i have to apply all of my will not to keep going with them but return again and again to the chant.

as i am meditating after the chant, soaking in the waves of subtle reverberations, a realization comes up. i can plan ahead better when i am in the present. to be in the present is no different from being connected to my inner self. the implication is huge. now it makes sense to let go of worry. worry takes me out of the present, disconnecting from the inner self. and i would end up doing dumb things, being foolish.

humming mmm is my new habit. 41 m + 34 m

i notice a new habit is shaping up.

it all began at the beginning of the year. and spontaneously too. after i finish singing 36 rounds of aum, i would glide into humming the extended resonance mmmm. the buzz would build and build. it would fill up the arms, hands, until the fingers feel like living, warm water balloons bouncing gently.

soon molecules and cells from deep within the body respond and reverberate in sync. there's something phenomenally calming and settling about it. sweet too. 

sacred burials in the cathedral of consciousness. 45 m + 16 m

7th day.

may the sublime sound of aum cleanse and purify all corners of haiti. may all departing souls in haiti bathe in the ocean of supreme consciousness.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/19/world/americas/19grave.html?hp

as i allow myself to rest into the extended resonance of the sacred syllable every cell in the body responds. i visualize every reverberation, every buzz, every tingle transform into a dignified and respectful crypt fit for the brothers and sisters in haiti.

may you all rest in the cathedral of consciousness.

may it be so. may it be so. may it be so.

meditating on chinese mind, american mind, calling mother. 38 m + 6 m

it's been a while since the residuals of guilt, suspicion, distrust, regrets appear in the mind. and here i am, while reveling in the nourishing sound of aum sweetly and kindly reverberating in the steady and easy breath that is irrigating everywhere in the strong and upright meditation posture, i watch these old habitual tendencies misting my consciousness.

a bunch of drunks, joyous drunks

there we are, 7 of us, singing aum in shivaa's heavenly living room after a sumptuous yet light supper prepared by...shivaa, of course.

that butternut squash soup infused with lemongrass is satisfying and so light. the salad is spectacularly choreographed with roasted walnuts, soy beans, beet, baby greens, pomegrenate and nectarean comice pear. a meal fit for a king.

i digress.

just when i think it cannot get any more awesome i realize i am in a grand ocean of sound, a symphonic universe of sweeping musical arcs sparkling with delicate, exquisite harmonics.

without a doubt i am in a world outside of linear time with no horizons in sight.

then we meditate. every cell of my body is soaked in a rich marinade of resonance. i can just keep sitting like this on and on.

but then i remember banana bread. yes, i bring along my knock-out wheat-free, gluten-no banana bread. nalini says no. she is gorgeous, tall, slender, blonde and so disciplined. but then she gets curious hearing all this ooohs and aaaahs around her. she takes a bite, she says, o my god, and off she goes to help herself to a piece. she says, how do you get it to be so moist, you are a gourmet cook.

well, i am trying not to bloat my ego up but i have to say my banana bread enriches, enhances and expands my state of consciousness.

why do i say that? well, as we chant an evening hymn after dessert i am afloat in sweet bliss. a light and moist sweetness.

laura, always regal and elegant, says, we are a bunch of old drunks. i say, drunk, yes, old, i don't agree, may be ancient, may be timeless:) laura smiles and says, definitely joyous.

a bunch of joyous drunks? i am happy with that.

38 m + 27 m. 'aum knows what to do, where to go'

i've been wondering whether i consciously sing aum in different notes. but i really don't think i intentionally started doing it. i like it. that much i am sure of. upon hearing this, my sweet and wise friend shivaa says, aum knows what to do, where to go.

ahha, that feels totally right on. i am watching aum singing whatever note it chooses to sing. while on the one hand its resonance ripples out to all corners of the body and consciousness it is clear that every note has certain body area where it reverberates more, even to the point of buzzing and humming like bumble bees. according to my knowledgeable friend eloise, these sounds balance chakras. sounds good.

aaahhh. every cell of the body has its own frequency. aum is the frequency of the inner self. it makes sense that it holds the frequencies for all the cells. like a perfume holding a whole host of scents.

i have so much more respect for the unfathomable intelligence in aum. so much that when i catch myself immersed in a thought packed with emotion and feeling while singing aum i don't get into the old habit of beating myself up. on the contrary i commend my self for catching the distraction in action, take in an easeful, deep breath, and get back on track with aummming.

what is that thought about? it feels so real when i am immersed in it. a couple of hours later, i don't recollect an iota of its content. hubby says, this is like the joke that the jewish mother leaves a message on her son's machine, start worry, detail to follow.

i say, yeah, the jews like to ask why, i have a chinese version. hubby says, what's that? i say, just worry, don't ask.

living power. aum. 38 m + 11 m

this aum looks and sound simple but, o me o my, i find something about it awesome and amazing, and then some, everyday.

for example. the resonance mmm flows into the body in all directions. that i already know from experience before i sit down for today's meditation.

as i relish in the massaging power of the resonance that is riding on the breathing movement it dawns on me that it enlivens wherever it touches.

this aum is a living power. it is mine. i am aum.

my body is saying a resounding yes, yes, yes in all corners as far as i can see and hear. the reverberation throbs and buzzes in every part of my body, my mind, my consciousness.

this reverberation is, in fact, consciousness as close to the origin of life as can be.

direct knowledge is within. this is no longer something i read about. it is now my experience.

the sense of safety and security is truly enlivening as well as empowering. 

1 hr 50 m, even fools can meditate in hawaii

when i awake, i can vividly sense the reverberation from the group aumming the evening prior. the 4 of us generate a panorama of resonance and harmonics across the scale.

after a while i lose track of individual sounds. my body is still. the mind is aloft and afloat in an ocean of reverberation. i can't feel a molecule in the body that doesn't revel in it. as far as relaxing goes, this is as good as it gets.

how can i tell the body loves it? there i am lying in the deep dark, the mind is quiet and soothed, the body resting in the gentle, steady reverberation of mmmmm.

eventually the first mental activity arises. it's a memory. something andrea says after i try to put in many words the wonders and marvels of our vacation in her house in hawaii. in a brief sentence she nails it and i could hear the ocean air in her crystal clear cheerful voice, it really keeps you in a meditative state, doesn't it?

that's exactly what hawaii can do to me. and now i remember somebody once tells me what my grand-teacher says, even fools can meditate in hawaii.

so true. with every visit to hawaii, i can tell my meditation is going a little deeper. what a pow-wow place.