children are creditors. grandchildren are profits.

i am munching lox while i overhear two ladies catching up. it's all about their grandchildren. they are animated. their eyes sparkle. without a doubt they are thoroughly enjoying being bubbe, bubbeleh. it's a total delight to behold. something comes to me. i think to myself, should i share this with them since jews don't really believe in reincarnation the way chinese do. a couple of mouthfuls of lox later i can't help myself and i says, listen, children are creditors from previous lifetimes to collect their debt. the lady who is doing the talking pauses in mid-sentence and turns her bright eyes toward me. i keep going and say, with a light tap on her shoulder, grandchildren are profits. she bursts into a ring of laughter, beams and says, in her bell-and-chime voice, grandchildren are profits, i like that. guess what happens next? more splendid experiences affirming that grandchildren are indeed delicious profits.

chuk. extra-strength tylenol.

all i have been having in the last few days are ginger water, honey lemon and chuk. what is chuk? one part rice and seven parts water, a little salt. that's according to chinese. you can just use a little rice, lot of water and nothing else. simmer it until the kitchen is infused with a healing and nurturing aroma. on the day when i feel clogged and heavy and achy i down two bowls plain, just like that. the next day i add in some green veg that is already cooked to soft. again, two bowls. when the day comes i want to put an egg in it it's the sure sign i am getting better. right now i feel i am hovering around a trough, not better, not worse either. as we chinese say, in the long run, it's better to let a cold or flu to run its own course and it's not less than seven days. but, of course, these are the days of extra-strength tylenol and antibiotics. who has the patience and tolerance to do that? images of the tasks and deadlines that are piling up fast come through the mind. i can see the time of taking extra-strength tylenol is coming near.

everybody's birthday. 45m + 18m

7th day chinese new year. happy birthday to me and all.

counting my blessings. i'm so fortunate, so fortunate. an even sense of contentment and gratitude pervade the breath, and flow into all corners of body, mind and consciousness. the sweetness and lightness of being are so tangible. priceless birthday gift.

may all experience abundant peace within.

meditating on chinese mind, american mind, calling mother. 38 m + 6 m

it's been a while since the residuals of guilt, suspicion, distrust, regrets appear in the mind. and here i am, while reveling in the nourishing sound of aum sweetly and kindly reverberating in the steady and easy breath that is irrigating everywhere in the strong and upright meditation posture, i watch these old habitual tendencies misting my consciousness.

a truly chinese american thanksgiving. 38 m + 8 m

hwubby says, you ate a lot of food. i say, really? he says, yeah, i came back to the table after hanging out with the kids and you were eating turkey all over again. i say, you don't understand, my cousin remembered he forgot all about the cranberry chutney he and the kids made together. he chuckles, that's why you have to eat more turkey?

go forth. go into yourself. lech lecha.

in tanakh, the jewish bible, the first words avram heard from yhvh are lech lecha.

rabbi says, in hebrew they mean 'go forth.' but, as in other ancient languages like sanskrit and chinese, they have multi-level of meanings. these 2 words can also mean 'go into yourself.'

together, the sound of the words, the meanings and the unfoldment of avram's story, stir up waves of emotion tossed with realizaations.

this document, preserved and protected with selfless devotion by many, many people over the flow of three thousand years, is speaking to me across time, space, race and gender.

my eyes are warm and wet. in my simple mind, without a doubt, avram's story is also my story.

18 years ago, a few weeks after i met my meditation teacher face to face, an open invitation spread: you are invited to the upcoming birthday celebration in the teacher's hosue in the catskills.

when i hear it in hong kong where i was born and raised my gut reaction is immediate and imminent. it goes everything against how all the mental circuits are wired. the message is direct and crystal clear.

go. and you will never come back.

catskills? sounds like from another planet. meditation? what the heck has it got to do with life? no idea.


scary. difficult. painful. all of that. and then some.

the word 'hebrew' literally means 'passing over', 'crossing boundaries', 'crushing boundaries.'

just scanning and skimming the contours of circumstances and the dynamics of defining developments, i understand. i understand. i understand that in order for me to connect with the divine self within, to become established in who and what i truly am i have to be an ocean and continent away from the boundaries of traditions, culture and family.

the 2 meanings are the wings of a bird. to take flight it needs both.

scary. difficult. painful. all of that. and then some.

a fellow torah study student says, and when avram goes down to canaan as yhvh instructs, what does he find? famine.

wow. and yet avram's faith is unwavering. whenever yhvh calls, his response is always this: here i am.

may i have an iota of the faith of avram. go. keep going.