i have to have it. yes, that was the thought that came when i was gathering food for supper and the choc tapioca pudding caught my eye.
the mind latched onto the thought, wouldn't let go. i forgot i could say no, i didn't have to act on it, i just had to watch the impulse in the thought come and go.
i knew exactly what would happen and i still went ahead and did it. o yes, the power of forgetting.
my stomach would feel heavy. my breath would smell terrible. my sleep would be awful, disruptive. i would wake up slothful, lethargic. the body would be sluggish. the mind would be clogged up.
they all come to pass.
when hwubby gets a earful of all this, he listens to my suffering with sweet patience, and says, i know, i feel the same too. i say, you ate choc pudding too? he says, no, i had popcorn very late.
no wonder my teacher says again and again, all that pleasure ultimately turns to pain.
it's not that i don't know that. really, in this simple mind what is the primordial sin? forgetting.