Sunday, September 13, 2009

computer worm

posting on hubby'scomputer. airport in mine is off. what happened? in the midst of researching on the web, gliding from one site to another when a window pops up, says something to the effect that my computer is critically affected by virus and i have to download this anti-virus thing. in the background a big screen with blinking words like 'critical', 'worms.' the shock and horror freezes the mind into a blank. at the same time i feel this heightened alertness of the breath coming in and going out on its own without me doing anything. i am sure i am not doing anything to breathe because i am frozen in the body and in the mind. anyway, there is this upsurge of calm and clarity spreading through my whole being. instantaneously. really, really powerful. i am acutely aware that i am looking at panic and anxiety attack on the one hand, and calm and courage on the other. without a doubt i know i have the power to choose. i look down the road of worrying and projecting. the decision is clear. i'm not going there. i gather my attention and laser it into the calm. and the insight comes: there is a solution within every situation. yes, i can handle this. whatever it takes to take care of it, i'll do it with calm and ease. i'll do the best with what i have right where i am. i am within this spacious quiet subtly pulsating aliveness and possibilities.

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