a lot of heaviness in the breathing movement today. leftover from dealings with email marketing people yesterday. i'm technologically challenged and i work slow, don't get things quickly. and hubby says, you know, you do tend to repeat things, are you afraid you're not heard or understood? well, on that one, i think that has something to do with worthlessness, inadequacy so i feel compelled to say something again and again. moreover i don't realize my voice is getting louder and louder, tighter and tighter, more and more high-pitched to the point of squeaking and squealing. no wonder after a while those tech people (or anyone for that matter, i don't blame them) would say in a cheerful and professional way, can i help you with anything else? can you have a coworker help you? so-and-so is assigned to your account, let me see if he's around, o, he is not, here's his direct line.
on one hand i know i still have a lot of tendencies to get rid of. on another hand i have to commend myself that i am not taking any of it personal. none of it has anything to do with my inherent, unchanging Self worth.
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