i'm reconstructing today's meditation experience from notes because network was down for most of the morning.
bad? yeah. really? i don't know.
the mind is on a seesaw for a little while and then a laser-sharp prompting cuts through. turn on hbo.
why? hey, why not? i don't have hbo at home. it comes with the hotel room. why don't i take a look at it. i can always turn it off. it's in my control. i have a strong enough mind to do that. i hope.
so i follow through. what do i see? simon and garfunkel in madison square garden. this time i totally take the inner message that is coming up for it is. sounds of silence.
sweet tears well up as the opening notes flow out of the brilliant, superb paul simon's fingers as they dance over the guitar strings.
the memory emerging is as clear and pristine as the tender, young dawn sky. yes. my young adult mind could not wrap around the poetic lyrics. but those 3 little words have made an indelible impression on me. the mind couldn't comprehend what they meant but they felt so right.
and they feel as right now as then. what's different is now i have the words to at least approximating the endless, sublime poetry within the sounds of silence since i have the experiences of actually hearing them. they are no longer something in the abstract, something beyond my reach.
my limited vocabulary is still struggling to name all the yellow hues in the dawn sky this morning. powder yellow, butter, lemon, marigold. all i know for sure is that beyond all the yellows is the soft-blue dawn sky. i can't see where the yellows start becoming blue. together the countless hues make up yet another one-of-a-kind sunrise, a seamless, borderless whole that has not bounds.
and the sun rises in silence.
the silent sky waves through my meditation, flow seamlessly as a whole with the sound of the breath. within the inaudible extended resonance i hear the message reverberating quietly in my consciousness. i am shining light.
it feels so right.