for the record for future reference, it has taken 3 days after the travel to portland to return to my home meditation practice rhythm. it was like that for the previous trp as well.
this is precious knowledge. now i know there's no cause to worry when, during the first 3 days upon return, i can't get up as early as i'd like. there's nothing wrong with the body not budging. it's taking its time to do its thing. right, my intelligent body? and there's no need to panic when the mind, in the dark winter night, goes, o, i can meditate just as well lying down. it's just some residual habitual tendency. let it come as long as i let it go.
as i contemplate on the meaning of my own inner self while afloat in the extended resonance mmm the arms are abuzz, generating delicious sweetness rippling through the body and mind. the experience is one of sublime enoughness. the state of consciousness is full and open all at once. aaahh, the possibility of possibilities.
hwubby says, i have this vision of my highest self, it's very bright, it is g-d, it is jesus, it is my soul, it is guruji, it is all of those, i am a reflection of it just as the moon reflects the sun's rays, so all i have to do is to pay attention to it.
so true. now i remember bits and pieces of a dream in which there is intense humiliation and smallness. but what really stands out from the brightness and beauty of the entire dreamscape.
and that's what i resolve to move with and move towards. i am a perfect moon reflecting the sun. aum.