Tuesday, December 29, 2009

grand and great dream

i have this dream the night after taking the preparation for a special new-year-day event.

i find hwubby and me living in a big apartment in an ancient stone building. the amenities are simple and primitive but the space is grand, sky-high ceilings, made of huge blocks of beautifully textured stones. kind of dark and dim, though. but i can see the other apartments are much smaller and even more primitive.

i walk around outside the apartment along a spacious stone-covered porch. then i climb up staircase after staircase that are narrow, steep, also made of stones, big and beautiful stones that emanate the aura of timelessness.

then the finale.

hwubby and i are driving at high speed in the depths of night. our vantage point is one from high looking out to the horizon unobstructed. opening out in front of us is a simple but expansive vista. we are driving on a wide, paved road that stretches all the way into the night. on my right is nothing but a boundless body of water domed by the sky. the cosmos is starless. the rippleless water surface is  satiny. my dreaming gaze is soft and open.

there's a warm, gentle breeze caressing me. the sweetness is beyond measure.

i don't see the moon but the brilliant silvery sheen over the lapis lazuli, velvety sky and placid waters leaves no doubt in my dreaming mind where and what is the light source.

my inner moon. my inner self. i experience spectacle and serenity at the same time. this is a glimpse into consciousness, the origin and culmination of all. vast, sublime and i have it.

all the while as i am drinking in the magnificent splendor i almost want to ask hwubby to slow down a little bit because we are going at super-duper high speed. there are moments when i feel the heart is about to leap out of me. but i let go of it. i recognize now it is the tendency of holding back out of fear. aaahhh. the residue is there but no longer influences how i think or move.

quietly and fearlessly we are together on a super-duper journey, within and without.

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