Thursday, November 19, 2009

no wonder i love to sleep. 39 m + 16 m

for years i would wake up to a mostly torturing state of consciousness. the mind would be noisy, yapping all kinds of negative stuff. not a pretty sight.

so i'm stunned, for a few days in a row now, to come into the waking state hearing nothing but the ocean sound of the flowing breath. the mind is quiet and clear sparkling with sweet smiles. it feels so nice that all i want to do is to stay in it, watch it while the body is taking its time to wake up. it's all right, body, you take the time you need.

i fall back asleep and dream.
my younger sister, muimui, may she rests in peace, and i wake up to see water flooding fast into the basement-like space we are in. on one hand i admire the beautiful, lovely blue of the water. on another hand, muimui is scared. i go to find my parents. they ignore my plea for help. so i start to scoop out the water with a tiny rubbermaid.

in the next part of the dream i see strangers tearing down and removing everything in the house. i don't know what's going on. muimui asks me, where's my toothbrush? i don't know either. i run into the kitchen, am shocked to see some big, unfriendly-looking guys taking away a big appliance, the last piece in the emptied-out kitchen. my parents won't even look at me. they are utterly preoccupied with whatever their minds are on, and whatever they are i know i and muimui are not part of it.

somewhere around this realization i wake up again. the mind is quiet and pulsing gently. the breath is moving in and out in a steady and soothing rhythm.

onward and upward to meditation.

today i am drawn to singing aum in the base notes. the extended resonance of mmm  gently swirl and twirl in the belly, between the solar plexus and sitting bones.

after the singing is completed, i see hues of ruby red, persimmony orange and lemon yellow imbue my consciousness. waves of throb ripple from the buzzing fingers into the rest of the body.

reveling in the sound of my own self i recall something a fellow yogi say, when you are asleep, you are in the state of least resistance and that's when grace can do the hard work.

i say to hwubby, no wonder i love to sleep so much. hwubby indulgingly says, yeah, sleeping beauty, you are a piece of work. i agree. i am a sleeping beauty:)

No comments:

Post a Comment