the pre-dawn cold has a quality of clean and crisp. winter cold. the living and breathing silence within exudes the slow throb of...hibernating.
on one hand i experience the spacious quiet pervading my consciousness. on another hand i also see and hear the remnants of old habits and tendencies trying to pull the mind into worrying, thoughts and emotions related to unworthiness.
unworthiness. will it ever go away, just go away?
aaah. such a question is another thought festered out of the first mental ripple. emotion pulling out more emotion. slippery slope.
what to do? a teaching monk says, when you see a storm coming, bunker down.
the safest bunker i know is within the sound and movement of the breath. so breathe in deep, here i come, breathe out long, in i go.
it is that much easier to experience myself as none other than fearlessness and strength and all that of the inner self in meditation. the rest of the day is all about remembering and reliving this understanding.
a lot of work. hard work. here's the deal. it's a little easier to keep going if i acknowledge myself a little bit. all right, here we go, what a clever girl i am.
bill clinton says, we can only keep stumbling in the right direction. he is talking about the epic saga of health care reform. i think i can't describe better about how i look at my situation.
thank you, mr. president.