i come to awake in the night. amidst the quiet and still it dawns on me that the gripping tight knot of anguish and angst is gone. the solar plexus is relaxed and easeful. there's just this sense of spaciousness pervading my whole being. just curious, i try to get myself worked up about something. you know, there's always something to worry about and i used to have no problem doing that. but now, i can't give any teeth to any of them. it's like this software of getting worked up about anything and nothing has been erased from the hardware of the mind. later, as i meditate in my solid and stable posture i immediately see that it is in the meditation practice that the mental softwares are being replaced. every natural and easeful breath contributes towards restocking the repertoire of the mental applications. cool.
the fingers and hands buzz with roaring aliveness sending the residual tendency to get anxious and worried out even further.
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