Showing posts with label prayer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label prayer. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

happiness generator. doggie.

i am not a dog person but i have to say this one really tugs my heart. look. i walk into the rabbi's house for torah study. what catches my eye before the rabbi's beaming, welcoming presence? a caramel-gold bundle wiggles on the floor, partly hidden behind the couch. turns out it's his new dog. a four month old golden labradoodle. i wish i could take a photo of him standing on hind legs, placing the front ones on the rabbi's thigh while the rabbi is singing the praises of yhvh. his eyes can be barely seen from underneath the soft gold fur. his wet tongue practically swinging and swaying in sync with the rhythm of the rabbi's singsong prayer. i can picture this sweetie having his own yamulke and tzizit. my rabbi is one of those rare beings who knows his life purpose and utterly comfortable in his own being. having said that i can see this little puppy brings a special flavor of joy to his heart. i say as much. he says, yes, he is a happiness generator.

and that brings to my mind another lovely happiness generator. true story. this person had to move. the circumstance was such that she couldn't take her dog. so she prayed, please let me find a place for her, the right place. nothing happened. nothing seemed to be working out.

the moving date was drawing near. she kept praying. one day while she was walking the dog a couple and their child appeared from around the corner. the child saw the dog and cried, doggie, doggie. the parents looked at the dog like they just ran into god. the long and short of it was their child was autistic and had not uttered a sound since birth. until this 'doggie' moment. need i say more about how the story ended? and that brings to mind some words from my guru. what's needed at all times is full faith and surrender. 

Friday, June 17, 2011

chinese bone expert in backyard

hwubby is returning to seattle. not for work. to receive chinese treatments. what's that all about? we are so grateful to all the western medical care that he has been receiving. having said that here's what chinese believe. with severe injuries in the likes of broken bones and fractures there are bruises lodged deep within muscles, ligaments and tissues. they block circulation, blood and chi. down the line these blockages are what cause arthritis and other health problems. imagine plumbings. for instance, hwubby's left pinkie. the taxi hit his right side. he was thrown in the air, fell, dented the hood, cracked windshield, tossed into the icy night air again before falling on the freezing street on his left. his left pinkie is visibly swollen and twisted. yet the orthopedists say, the bones are not broken, this is the way it is, it just takes a long time for the swelling to go down. of course we trust the doctor. but meanwhile hwubby has been experiencing tremendous discomforts in the pinkie. it has become sort of a weather alert. the pain and swelling intensify sharply at the onset of temperature shifts. if it rains it's a double whammy. what does the orthopedist say? take painkillers if it's too much pain. really, with due respect, i feel deep within that painkillers are only dealing with the symptoms, not the root cause. the chinewse way to treat this is to draw out the bruises, break them down so they can be merged into circulation. kind of like kidney stones.

so i have been doing the only thing i know how to do in such a situation where the externals are saying this is the only reality. how do you find such a person in america? i pray. i pray again and again. i hold firm the intention that i would find the right chinese who knows how to take care of this. i look around in chinatown. i see one chinese doc sign after another. not one resonates with me.

then i need help myself. the pains in my shoulders spike. i pick up my bottle of chinese medical oil for alleviating muscle pains and all kinds of pains. indeed, one chinese oil works for all pains. i'm not kidding. ai-ya. it's almost empty. it so happens that my cousins, tommy and daisy, are coming to take us to dinner that evening. i place an emergency call to daisy. i say, daisy, daisy, help, i'm running out of woodlock oil. when they arrive our house, daisy rolls up her sleeves, places me sitting backward in a chair, rubs a couple of oil drops between her palms, and start working on my shoulders. miracle. i can feel the difference after the treatment. all right, why am i talking about me? o, yes, right, because it turns out daisy's older brother is the expert that i have been praying for. his father sent him to school to learn this ancient knowledge when he was little. he loves it. it's his passion but he doesn't want to make money with it. he only does it for family and friends. he makes his living as a construction worker. his colleagues are truly fortunate to have him.

anyway brother pang lives in seattle. so last month while hwubby was in seattle doing some work in seattle he went to brother pang. brother pang doesn't speak english. and he doesn't small talk. very simple and direct. he comes through the door, sees hwubby sitting on the couch, motions him to stand up, places him sitting backward in a hard chair, and starts working on hwubby. he prepares his own medical oils. takes a year to brew it properly. hwubby says, he would touch a certain part, rub oil on the skin, and in a few manuvers dark rainbow colors appear. i say, painful? hwubby says, o yes, o very, but i definitely feel the difference. aaah. beneficial pain.

brother pang works on hwuby's left pinkie. it takes a couple of treatments. hwubby says, it feels better. it looks less swollen and not as twisted as well.

brother pang says hwubby needs more treatments. that's why hwubby is going back. who knew. the right person is in my own backyard. we have so much wonders and marvels within us. and without. we just have to pay attention and be grateful. so much grace.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

what is your secret, suk wah?

this past sabbath i was at the annual members' dinner of our shul. as always i sing and dance to the hymns welcoming and praising sabbath. i see this twenty-five hours as a temple of time, a sacred space where i can immerse in the sweetness of torah, the joy of praying, singing songs. my top fave is this two-line number that says, the entire world is a narrow bridge, and the main thing is not to fear, not to fear at all. the name of the person who wrote the song doesn't come to mind right now but i am sure it's a highly revered rabbi from several centuries ago. so every sabbath i would ask rabbi, can i have a special  request? he would unfailingly indulge me. i would feel so connected to the ancient sage whose wisdom is timeless and timely.

anyhow, i digress. at some point during the members' dinner someone comes up to me and says, what is your secret? how can you sing and dance so happily? i gaze into her. this is a very compassionate, kind and sweet person who has some very difficult situations in her life for a long time. my heart goes out to her, feels for her. i say, well, i am a meditator. she says, i am a meditator too, what's your secret? i don't know what else to say but give her a big hug. i just don't know if it's appropriate to tell her in that moment, because happiness is my true nature, i can't help it, i just take care of whatever is necessary.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

love my fellow yogis

back to doing spiritual practices with fellow yogis after a two-month absence. love it. the eight of us pour our whole being into the practices, be it chanting a vedic hymn or singing om or meditating or...eating. about singing om. this time i consciously shift the note after several rounds. as i rise to a higher note i hear waves of beautiful harmonics sweeping into my consciousness. our individual sounds come together. mystical alchemy happens. blossoms of grand resonance appear, sustain and dissolve in a comforting rhythm. soon i experience no difference between the resonance outside of me and the reverberation within me. i am filled with waves of sweet and spectacular resonance. i hear my own resonance pulsing through my entire being while the vast symphonic sound undulates everywhere in my awareness.

and then shivaa feeds us to beautiful, pure food. a bowl of azuki bean soup permeating shittake aroma gently fills the belly with yummy nourishment. a dollop of fresh whip cream, infused with maple syrup and vanilla, over upside down apple pie provides the perfect sweet note to satisfy the body and mind. i love my fellow yogis. we check in with each other on our spiritual wellbeing. we don't gossip but we support each other's spiritual growth. we pray together in one voice with one intention.

i couldn't be happier to be back with them. love my fellow yogis.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

i am praying so hard

i am praying for the courage, compassion and clarity to deal with the latest challenge, a health crisis in the immediate family. i pray for the strength to keep remembering again and again i am equal to the challenge. i pray for the sustained focus and fortitude to stay in the present moment. i'm praying for god to be on my side. i pray that i am on god's side, walking the path one small step at a time, impossibly difficult as it might look like at times.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

38 m+ 27 m, within, all around, all names are one.

sparks of prayers from the home sabbath at robin's place reverberates sweet and clear in my consciousness while i am relishing the ocean sound of the flowing breath.

within. all around. fill the universe. all names are one.

in a quiet way i am having an experience of this truth. a metaphor that my teacher and grand-teacher use on more than one occasion comes to me.

walk into a gold store. look around. everything is made of gold. in all kinds of sizes, shapes. though different in forms, all the objects you see are made of the same stuff. while each is a unique creation all are essentially the same. a translucent gold leaf weighs little whereas a wedding dragon-and-phoenix bracelet weighs heavy around the bride's wrist, they are, really, simply gold. so appreciate the variety while not losing sight of the sameness in all.

aaahhh, this is the underlying connectedness of all creatures and things.  in a subtle way i sense the outgoing breath, that is holding my body steady, merging into the invisible life force upholding all that are around me. a sense of supreme safety and security fills me.

then a question arises with another long and fine exhalation. what is consciousness?

silence pursues. sweet stillness pervades my awareness.

another metaphor from my grand-teacher infuses me through an incoming breath.

it's like the canvas that holds the painting in place. except in this case, the canvas is also the painter.

i can feel this is too much for the mind to wrap around.

then i remember an anecdote about einstein. he was asked during a dinner, what is relative theory? he says, 2 fleas living on the back of an elephant want to describe this place called 'elephant.' they think hard and come up with these: grey as far as their eyes can see and beyond, hard, bumpy...and scary.

and then i am filled with one of my favorite sabbath practice: to locate myself on planet earth. it is about one millionth in size of the sun. it is one of the many planets in a galaxy. now the scientists say there are at least one hundred billion galaxies out there.

wow. my state of consciousness flip into one of amazement, awe and joyous wonder. how fortunate i am to be part of all this, all this and all this. my mind still cannot wrap around it all but i feel fantastic.

soon i feel a distinct lift and leap within. i recognize it for for it is. this is upliftment. my state of consciousness is now a little bit better in holding the infinite vastness and staying grounded at the same time. the old tendency of seized with anguish about life is getting a little weaker.

i feel lightened and totally ready to come out of meditation.