singing om everyday

everyday, as part of meditation, i sing om seventy-two rounds. that's after i recite the poems and gather attention to the lovely and soothing sound of the breath flow. why seventy two? because i use a  necklace that has thirty-six pearls. i inherited it from, may she rest in peace, my mother-in-law. i figure i don't wear it everyday but, hey, this is even better, it guides me to connect with my own true nature. can't beat that.

but why seventy-two? here's the story. as part of the yearly study focus, my guru instructs me to sing om for nine minutes a day, or twenty-nine minutes. i know some really dedicated and disciplined yogis set aside time during the day that is specifically devoted to singing om. i have the highest admiration for them. as for me, i am really not up there yet. so i just lump everything into my morning meditation. my study buddy says she does about thirty-two om in nine minutes. so i start with that and time it. somehow when i do it thirty-two om it takes me fifteen minutes. i realize it is because i'm really into the nasal reverberation at the end of the syllables. anyway, i know i need something to help me do the counting. in meditation my mother-in-law's pearl necklace comes to me. so i've been using it ever since. seventy-two oms insures at least twenty-nine minutes.

 a seasoned yogi teases me good-naturedly, well, then, you are not following the guru's command, twenty-nine minutes, not more, not less. all teasing aside, there's a point to it. the guru's command embodies vast wisdom in infinite layers. but, you know what, better singing om than not singing it. besides i have full conviction the the power of grace takes me across anything. i may be on a detour but i will get there. grace makes sure of that.

having said all this i have it in the back burner of my awareness to contemplate this. is there a trace of habitual tendency that is based in poverty consciousness in what i'm doing? like, twenty-minutes is not enough, not good enough. hmmmm.

pure pasta. pure practices.

these days the only pasta i eat is uncle vito's. let me explain why. first of all it's after doing spiritual practices together. we sing vedic hymns and om and meditate. by the way we are now singing om on a deeper level. we focus on the nasal resonance. the result speaks for itself. we glide into this meditation that, in shivaa's words, quick and still. half an hour go by in no time. i am deeply absorbed in the subtle throb. i am all full in this gentle and rich pulsation.

then, pasta. the pasta sauce is a recipe from vito's fellow italian, lydia mastianich. mushroom, garlic, parsley. how can it be not terrific, right? and then vito throws in his own touches. sage. a cheese that is not reggiano. i can't remember the name. but what it does is not drowning out the delicate mushroom flavor but enhancing it. you can't taste the sage but the whole thing is that much more interesting and richer. i scrape off every drop of it.

this is pure pasta. perfect complement to the pure practices.

great to be back with the yogis

walking across the threshold to shivaa's divine dwelling i feel i have never left after being away from our sadhana circle for a month. i have this refreshed connection with rudram, a major portion of the vedas. it's so direct, so naked. my voice simply swims along with the ups and downs of the sacred melody, effortlessly blended into the one bright and steady voice created by the ten of us. by the time we sing om, this river of reverberation flows out of my vocal cord, merges with the sacred sound rivers pouring out of nine yogis. a magical river comes into being. the sublime syllable fills me up. my entire universe pulsates. i realize my universe includes all the universes and all the universes are within my awareness.

as i savor the food prepared by shivaa, i am also eating up the divine adventures of arielle. her strong connection with the guru within is so inspiring. shivaa's soup is fantastic companion to go with contemplation. dal with barley, mushroom and coconut milk. i slurp down two big bowls.

luminosity of darkness. 1099-misc

i am stepping up my daily spiritual practices with a couple of things. double the time of singing aum to about thirty minutes. for the last couple of years i've been doing thirty-six rounds according to the number of pearls on the necklace i use as a counter. that's about fifteen minutes. now i double the effort. secondly i meditate before going to bed.

whoa. wow. on the first night i dream. it's like i watch the dream with a different prescription. it's so much brighter. the colors are more vibrant. the contours of shapes and forms are incredibly sharper. at one point someone shows me the details of an elaborate wreath that is made of fresh lush green leaves. i can feel the life pulsing in the leaf veins. in another scene, an adorable, chubbo-chubbo toddler comes to my embrace. the amazing life throbbing beneath her translucent, egg-white smooth, peachy complexion is irresistible. since then it's been like that every night. what about the morning meditation with the thirty minutes of aum singing? how about this? the mind plunges into this bright, quiet, open space with the lingering resonance of the last round. sweet warmth oozes from deep within into the limbs, all the way to the fingertips. the sensation of fullness is exquisite. i'm absorbed in awe and wonder at the luminosity of darkness. there's truly nowhere else i'd rather be than in my own being.

then, check this out. as i emerge from the depths of this vast world of black light i hear this crystal clear. 1099. my inner self really never ceases to amaze me. this is the time of the year to start looking into who to send 1099-misc to. after initial moments of lurking anxiety, which i am aware that it is residual tendency, the inner self instructs step by step what to do about it. there you have it. lofty, mystical experience together with the most practical stuff all rolled into one sitting. can't get better than this. so thrilling.

a very crabby thanksgiving

i say, i really had a lot of crab. hwubby says, you must be kidding, you've had crabs enough for a year. look. i have the pic to show for it. look at the gigundo bowl of shimmering crabs next to the fifteen pound thanksgiving bird.

by the way that green patch on the bird's thigh is evidence of my seven-grader nephew byron's great and hard work as his dad's sous chef. he scrubs sage butter under the skin.

i digress. but it's hard not to when i am in stun and awe of this sublime thanksgiving banquet that tommy, my nephew, and his family spent a week and countless hours to plan and execute.

so, what about the crabs? the aroma is that of the fresh ocean and abundant earth merged into a grand harmony. i take a bite and i totally forget the principle of moderation. i'm determined not to leave a piece behind. in fact i keep licking fingers to make sure i suck up all the flavors. and what a spectacular flavor profile he has created. all right, so tommy, my cousin, has not invented the vietnamese way of making crab. but, in my humble, and, okay, maybe biased, opinion, he has perfected it. the foundation of butter and garlic is solid but not overpowering. how do i know? because the crabs at room temperature are not greasy. the garlic hums in the background like the eternal presence of the sacred resonance of om. the texture is smooth and moist. it has a bite, almost al dente, and yet, in a mysterious way, it feels buttery between teeth. peppery heat sparkle on the palate but not tongue-numbing. in fact it enhances the ethereal brininess which is a sure sign that the crabs are top quality material. there is so much life in each bite. there is not a drop of white wine in sight. only the intoxicating scent remains. just before turning off the high, high heat he drips in a teeny weeny bit of lemon. the touch of acid brightens the brininess the way a pinch of salt infuses freshness and lightness into sweetness. the moment he turns off the heat he showers plenty of finely chopped parsley over the creation. he says, this parsley brings everything together. i don't know why. i don't care. i just can't stop eating. i clean the bowl out.

it's surely a crabby thanksgiving. and it's superb.

anyway, as lord krishna says to arjuna in bhagavad gita, yoga is skill in action. from this perspective, that tommy is definitely a yogi.

to be continued...

connectedness. spiritual workout. twelve-step

of all the bad and negative emotions and feelings which is the most awful? for me it is loneliness. i am even feeling bursts of shame and embarrassment just becoming vaguely aware of the yucky things i did and said out of loneliness. anyway. last night as i sing om with fellow yogis in our regular gathering - i call it spiritual workout - very soon i hear my voice rising and ebbing with the group's sound. without any pre-arrangement we start a round at the same instant and enter the subtle resonance together. it's a great feeling. our inner selves merge into one conducting the flow of sound. the mind starts to look for a word to encapsulate it. it comes quickly. connectedness. then one insight flows out after another as i am carried aloft on this comforter of sacred sound. i am not alone. we come together as earnest seekers to help each other remember that. the outer connectedness shows me the way to connect with the inner self.

it helps too to have vito's pasta sauce made from home grown tomatoes and prepared in the real italian way.

then i recall a core operating principle of the twelve-step program. when people who truly want to make meaningful change come together we help each other to emerge from feeling isolated. little by little, over time, we reach out for support, guidance and, lo n behold, we see so much higher power already within us, always there, ready, willing and able to walk us step by step to become what we ought to be from where we are.

on the day before thanksgiving i feel so fortunate to have such abundant holy company. really, people who work hard on recovering their connection with higher power are great people to be with. and fun too. in their presence, each in his/her unique and wonderful way, i am reminded who and what i really am. above all, i no longer feel alone. and that is a priceless gift. thank you all.

love my fellow yogis

back to doing spiritual practices with fellow yogis after a two-month absence. love it. the eight of us pour our whole being into the practices, be it chanting a vedic hymn or singing om or meditating or...eating. about singing om. this time i consciously shift the note after several rounds. as i rise to a higher note i hear waves of beautiful harmonics sweeping into my consciousness. our individual sounds come together. mystical alchemy happens. blossoms of grand resonance appear, sustain and dissolve in a comforting rhythm. soon i experience no difference between the resonance outside of me and the reverberation within me. i am filled with waves of sweet and spectacular resonance. i hear my own resonance pulsing through my entire being while the vast symphonic sound undulates everywhere in my awareness.

and then shivaa feeds us to beautiful, pure food. a bowl of azuki bean soup permeating shittake aroma gently fills the belly with yummy nourishment. a dollop of fresh whip cream, infused with maple syrup and vanilla, over upside down apple pie provides the perfect sweet note to satisfy the body and mind. i love my fellow yogis. we check in with each other on our spiritual wellbeing. we don't gossip but we support each other's spiritual growth. we pray together in one voice with one intention.

i couldn't be happier to be back with them. love my fellow yogis.