bro pang. sifu ho yer.

to kick it all off, this is a huge shout out to hwubby. he is so courageous and determined. here's a glimpse of what he goes through for chinese bone treatments. every night he sleeps with medicinal pads on certain parts on the right side of his body. the medicine is a custom-made herbal paste of more than thirty ingredients. it takes more than a year to prepare and age. it is spread over a gauze and held in place with adhesives. keep in mind hwubby has abundant body hair. this is how he does it in the morning. he sits up, holds himself steady at the edge of the bed. he takes in a deep, deep breath. as he makes a forceful exhalation, with a loud hooh he tears off the adhesive. part of my heart breaks to see him go through such pain. in the spirit of lightheartedness i say he has brazilian waxing every day. he says, one time i go to this dinner party after a treatment, every adult assures me the smell doesn't bother them. then i play with this five year old and he goes, your stomach smells. yet another time somehow the adhesive loosens and the hardened herbal paste fall through his pants. hwubby says, i am standing on the bus and suddenly i see these poop-like patties coming out of my pants. i know i shouldn't laugh but i just can't help it. you go, hwubby.

why is he willing to go thru this day after day? he has come all the way to seattle and been enduring this for more than two weeks. because he recognizes the benefits. he can feel the difference. he feels looser, less sore. he is so grateful. we both do.

what's the story here? turns out we have this relative, bro pang, who knows a lot about this ancient chinese bone healing practice. pang found this teacher when he was little in china. he talks about his teacher with so much reverence. he says, i have not learned a lot from him. and pang's been at this for forty years. bro pang doesn't speak a word of english. i think he's been in this country for more than two decades. he doesn't small talk. he doesn't butter up anybody. a straight and narrow shooter. not interested in commercializing his gifts. hwubby says, he walks into the room, immediately tells me to stay away from the couch, and starts doing his thing. he runs the back of his hand over my right side. later on in our conversations bro pang says, i can tell the temperature difference. when he identifies a spot he applies over it a herb-infused liquid which he prepares with meticulous care. hwubby says, he really digs in, his daughter, who is our niece-in-law and serves as his translator, keeps asking hwubby, is it too painful. hwubby knows this is all beneficial pain. he reassures them, it's okay. i say, is it like shiatsu massage? he says, this is way beyond shiatsu. where he rubs, and by the way, he rubs with special moves in a targeted manner, blacks and blue and purple quickly surface. pang says these are the bruises lodged deep within ligaments and tendons. they are there as a result of the moving taxi hitting his body. they block blood and chi flow. they have to be broken down, drawn out and redistributed into circulation. otherwise arthritis result down the line. guaranteed.

by the time i arrive seattle, pang says, one rib is not healing properly, not lined up straight. i say, what now? he says bluntly, i lined them up, okay now. seriously. now hwubby sneezes, coughs, and breathes. no pain. pang says, now he can stand up tall. i look at hwubby up and down. pang is right.

after every treatment hwubby gives two thumbs up to bro pang and says, sifu ho yer. teacher rocks. i say pang is a huge boon to humanity. a true miracle worker. we couldn't be more fortunate.

a joy to behold.

how to tell whether a teacher is good, or great? look at the student. here's the example. this person says, nine months in a year i don't have time to see my friends, now it's summer i have to catch up. i size up this young man and say, how come? she says, i'm in this choir throughout the school year. what kind of choir is that? i've been in it for twenty years. what? yeah, i began the first year in the university. a choir in the university and you're still with it? so happens that i know the choir director. i really love her. she is this embodiment of creativity and discipline in joyous harmony. by the way her name is joy. how do you like that. her name is an honest reflection of what she is. vibrant joy. back to this twenty-year choir member. she is a computer engineer by profession. her devotion to music, to the teacher, to the practice infuses everywhere in her life. she has this lovely house of beautiful bones. the garden is pleasing to the eye and mind. from a chinese eye, the chi flows nicely through the rooms. she has a keen appreciation of energy quality, that's for sure. she saw it and bought it just like that. i have forgotten she has a terrific sense of humor. we have so much laughter and fun whenever we run into each other, me in my pj and her arranging her gorgeous flowing chestnut hair before going to work. she sings the teaching of welcoming to perfect pitch. she says, joy is a very important person in my life, she says i can stay in the choir as long as i stay with the full rehearsal schedule, so i'm in the university most nights of the school year. keep in mind she has a high power full time job. i'm not even going to go into the variety of interests she devotes herself to. and she does it all with such ease and...joy.

such are the qualities of a great teacher. such a teacher is a joy to behold and a big boon to humanity. i'm so proud and thrilled to have both as my friends. lucky me.

surprise. a yogi.

every so often someone comes along and totally busts my spiritual pride. to be more specific it's thoughts like i'm a yogi, what a clever girl i am, i am better than this one and that one, blah blah blah. it's so easy, and tempting, to buy into all this crap. anyhow, anyhoo, we are staying in seattle in this house. a very nice house in a very nice neighborhood. i have never met the owner before. hwubby stumbles into this great good fortune through a friend. hwubby moved in a week and a half ago. me. two days. last night was the first time i got to meet her. actually, it was yesterday morning. we hug before she goes to work. in that brief encounter i am already much impressed. actually, i was impressed way back when hwubby asks her if he - and i - could stay with her. she emails back with a simple, unconditional yes. think about it, suk wah. my guru's guru often says, when asked to sum up his teachings in one word, welcoming. getting back to our hug. she is genuine. i feel the kindness, generosity. i am in my fave pj. that's how at home she makes me feel. turns out she is an accomplished professional with a wide range of interests and knowledge ranging from singing, investing in real estate and morse code. yes, she finds reading in morse code so relaxing that she wrote a program to turn the complete volumes of shellock homes into morse code. her enthusiasm is infectious and delicious. really. the sense of wonder, curiosity, the impulse to create. such is the essence of the selves of all. she doesn't talk yoga. she lives it. it's such a delight to be in her presence. fun all around. but no nonsense. how can she be otherwise when she dwells in her heart and her head is stabilized above shoulder. from the highest vantage point, i see her as a real cool yogi.

i bring sunshine to seattle.

i'e been getting heads up about seattle weather left and right. rains. downcast. hwubby says on the phone, bring raincoat, umbrella. hey, i get it, people. it's wet. it's depressing. nonetheless i am bright and light as i walk out of the airport. what do i see? cloudless sky. california weather. my niece-in-law says, you bring good luck, suk wah, you bring the sun. i say, thank you, i do.

all kidding aside, i do have the sun within me. in fact, according to the scriptures, which are really meditation experiences of super duper advanced meditators, i have a thousand suns. as a matter of fact, i hold all the stars, planets, galaxies, those that we know of their existence and those we don't yet know that they are somewhere out there in some corner of this infinitely vast universe, which is probably just one speck in the innumerable collection of universes. as i type this my mind is a little bit dizzy, kind of hard to hold all this. what's the term? right, 'wrap around it.' and so i take a deep breath in, let a long one out, and let loose any rigid horizons in the field of awareness.

as i soak in the gorgeous sunshine, shimmering waters and the vibrant life all around me i also see them as a glimpse of what i have within.

my inner self and self of universe.

hwubby says, listen to this. i say, yeah? he says, i got a nice email. i say, you always get nice emails. he says, no, you are not listening. i say, okay, okay, what is this nice email? he says, remember when i coached the choirs in the universities in seattle? i says, ye-ah? he says, i asked the department chair if i could stay with her, she says, no my house is too messy but i've arranged you to stay in a bigger house. i say, yeah, i remember, so? he says, so i write to them, saying i have to stay in seattle two weeks for chinese bone treatments, and my wife would come for a few days, i ask them if i could stay with them, and i would be happy to contribute to rent and use of kitchen. i say, yeah, so? he says, they write right back, they say, just come and stay, they're happy to have me and don't worry about rent. i say, what about me, can i stay too? hwubby says, oy, it's always about you, isn't it.

kidding aside, it's really my growing experience that if and when i am on the right track, meaning i am listening to the inner self, the self of the universe sings with me in harmony. i know it's the right thing for hwubby to go to seattle for two weeks as brother pang says. so we just go ahead and book the tickets for the earliest time he can go. where is he going to stay? we don't know. well, the self of the universe knows.

chinese bone expert in backyard

hwubby is returning to seattle. not for work. to receive chinese treatments. what's that all about? we are so grateful to all the western medical care that he has been receiving. having said that here's what chinese believe. with severe injuries in the likes of broken bones and fractures there are bruises lodged deep within muscles, ligaments and tissues. they block circulation, blood and chi. down the line these blockages are what cause arthritis and other health problems. imagine plumbings. for instance, hwubby's left pinkie. the taxi hit his right side. he was thrown in the air, fell, dented the hood, cracked windshield, tossed into the icy night air again before falling on the freezing street on his left. his left pinkie is visibly swollen and twisted. yet the orthopedists say, the bones are not broken, this is the way it is, it just takes a long time for the swelling to go down. of course we trust the doctor. but meanwhile hwubby has been experiencing tremendous discomforts in the pinkie. it has become sort of a weather alert. the pain and swelling intensify sharply at the onset of temperature shifts. if it rains it's a double whammy. what does the orthopedist say? take painkillers if it's too much pain. really, with due respect, i feel deep within that painkillers are only dealing with the symptoms, not the root cause. the chinewse way to treat this is to draw out the bruises, break them down so they can be merged into circulation. kind of like kidney stones.

so i have been doing the only thing i know how to do in such a situation where the externals are saying this is the only reality. how do you find such a person in america? i pray. i pray again and again. i hold firm the intention that i would find the right chinese who knows how to take care of this. i look around in chinatown. i see one chinese doc sign after another. not one resonates with me.

then i need help myself. the pains in my shoulders spike. i pick up my bottle of chinese medical oil for alleviating muscle pains and all kinds of pains. indeed, one chinese oil works for all pains. i'm not kidding. ai-ya. it's almost empty. it so happens that my cousins, tommy and daisy, are coming to take us to dinner that evening. i place an emergency call to daisy. i say, daisy, daisy, help, i'm running out of woodlock oil. when they arrive our house, daisy rolls up her sleeves, places me sitting backward in a chair, rubs a couple of oil drops between her palms, and start working on my shoulders. miracle. i can feel the difference after the treatment. all right, why am i talking about me? o, yes, right, because it turns out daisy's older brother is the expert that i have been praying for. his father sent him to school to learn this ancient knowledge when he was little. he loves it. it's his passion but he doesn't want to make money with it. he only does it for family and friends. he makes his living as a construction worker. his colleagues are truly fortunate to have him.

anyway brother pang lives in seattle. so last month while hwubby was in seattle doing some work in seattle he went to brother pang. brother pang doesn't speak english. and he doesn't small talk. very simple and direct. he comes through the door, sees hwubby sitting on the couch, motions him to stand up, places him sitting backward in a hard chair, and starts working on hwubby. he prepares his own medical oils. takes a year to brew it properly. hwubby says, he would touch a certain part, rub oil on the skin, and in a few manuvers dark rainbow colors appear. i say, painful? hwubby says, o yes, o very, but i definitely feel the difference. aaah. beneficial pain.

brother pang works on hwuby's left pinkie. it takes a couple of treatments. hwubby says, it feels better. it looks less swollen and not as twisted as well.

brother pang says hwubby needs more treatments. that's why hwubby is going back. who knew. the right person is in my own backyard. we have so much wonders and marvels within us. and without. we just have to pay attention and be grateful. so much grace.

scoop golden nectar out of compost bin

i have come to know that i can't control how grace manifests. i just have to keep an open mind and let go of expectation. case in point.  i've bee wondering where am i going to take the next shower since it will be at least another few days before there will be hot water. i know, yogis are supposed to take cold shower but that's another contemplation and whole bunch of spiritual work. suffice to say i'm not there yet. anyway i've even started sponging because hwubby is not too comfortable about me knocking on neighbors' doors and says, knock, knock, can i come take a shower? so i have completely let go of having a shower for a few days and prepared the mind for it. it's not that hard to adjust actually since i was raised where i bathed off a bucket squatting over a rough concrete floor. so there i am, my mind all set for this when hwubby bursts through my room and says, pack up, we are going to take a shower in shambhavi's place. to cut a long story short. shambhavi is this sunshine of yogini. she's a meditating butterfly. she was the stage manager of hwubby's opera production in seattle as well as a major fundraising event in san francisco. she's that kind of dream person that simply steps up to take care of what's necessary with a warm and bright smile. when the going was tough during the fundraiser event she turns to hwubby says cheerfully, i'm just into selfless service. with that the atmosphere transforms. anyway i come out of her shower, feeling clean and bright, and hearing her saying something about throwing away a mango. i say, why do you throw it away? she says, so and so says when the mango has brown spots you should throw it away. i say, where's the mango? she says, in the compost. our eyes turn in the direction of the compost bin. that fearless shambhavi, so very in the present, digs her hand deep into the bin, scoops out the mango, gives it a good rinse under the faucet, and, voila, a golden kidney-shaped nectarean fruit emerges. i begin to salivate. we get so excited. shambhavi rushes upstairs and pulls out another one which is about to go into compost. and i get to take both of them home. they are fragrant, nectarean. true, they might be a teenie bit over ripe but, hey, i am just picking bones from eggs. i have to be honest. they are, without a doubt, the best and greatest mangoes i have had in a long time. sublimely succulent. heavenly. really, i never know how grace manifests where.

here's to that magic frank.

i look into this mound of golden sunshine, and say, is this a deconstructed, modernist version of butternut squash soup? my super-uber cool friend, frank, sends out another one of his ringing, joyous laughter cascades and say, post-modernist. he roasted butternut squash with, in his words, slabs of butter, then purees it with yet more butter. eating frank's food means leaving calorie-count at his door. but then, he lives in seattle. how often do i get to eat his fabulous food? as my beloved aunt julia, as in julia child, says about crepe suzette, eat it once in a while. besides with food prepared with such thoughtfulness and delight as frank's it's pure. did i mention top-notch ingredients? for instance, he dollops raspberry yoghurt over butternut squash. this is organic greek yoghurt with quality raspberry. topping this post-modernist babe off is a whip of creme fraiche. every spoonful is fresh sunshine in the mouth.

frank begins the meal with 'laughter in the mouth.' bits of browned duck and roasted walnuts sit in a boat of endive. a little drip of maple syrup and dots of dill transform this creation into, i would say, a savory reinvention of banana split.

now, there is wild caught copper river king salmon, and there is trol-caught salmon. the latter costs three times as much. before i actually taste it frank says, once you have it you can never go back. i am kind of skeptical until i eat it. o me o my, it's juicy, buttery. the texture is tender and bouncy. flavor profile is complex and wonderful. simply irresistible. it's one of those 'mango' experience. you can describe it all you can but you have to eat the mango to know that ethereal feeling. the best i can say is this is a relaxed, contented salmon. to bring out and enhance this beauty frank slow braises celery root with cream and purees it. the salmon lies on top of this white comforter, next to a stream of blueberry sauce. the sweet and mellow blueberry is kicked up several notches by spicy red bell pepper. a raft of baby carrots of a variety of colors complete the dish. dots of dill continue their recurring appearances. i have two plates. that's how good it is.

dessert is o so simple. lemon sorbet. before i can start to tease frank about awol-ing on dessert i sniff something something and i notice something something sprinkled over the sorbet. it smells like fennel and it's deeper and richer. frank says, fennel pollen, a mario batali trick, put it over anything, it's magic.

frank, i say, you are magic.