scoop golden nectar out of compost bin

i have come to know that i can't control how grace manifests. i just have to keep an open mind and let go of expectation. case in point.  i've bee wondering where am i going to take the next shower since it will be at least another few days before there will be hot water. i know, yogis are supposed to take cold shower but that's another contemplation and whole bunch of spiritual work. suffice to say i'm not there yet. anyway i've even started sponging because hwubby is not too comfortable about me knocking on neighbors' doors and says, knock, knock, can i come take a shower? so i have completely let go of having a shower for a few days and prepared the mind for it. it's not that hard to adjust actually since i was raised where i bathed off a bucket squatting over a rough concrete floor. so there i am, my mind all set for this when hwubby bursts through my room and says, pack up, we are going to take a shower in shambhavi's place. to cut a long story short. shambhavi is this sunshine of yogini. she's a meditating butterfly. she was the stage manager of hwubby's opera production in seattle as well as a major fundraising event in san francisco. she's that kind of dream person that simply steps up to take care of what's necessary with a warm and bright smile. when the going was tough during the fundraiser event she turns to hwubby says cheerfully, i'm just into selfless service. with that the atmosphere transforms. anyway i come out of her shower, feeling clean and bright, and hearing her saying something about throwing away a mango. i say, why do you throw it away? she says, so and so says when the mango has brown spots you should throw it away. i say, where's the mango? she says, in the compost. our eyes turn in the direction of the compost bin. that fearless shambhavi, so very in the present, digs her hand deep into the bin, scoops out the mango, gives it a good rinse under the faucet, and, voila, a golden kidney-shaped nectarean fruit emerges. i begin to salivate. we get so excited. shambhavi rushes upstairs and pulls out another one which is about to go into compost. and i get to take both of them home. they are fragrant, nectarean. true, they might be a teenie bit over ripe but, hey, i am just picking bones from eggs. i have to be honest. they are, without a doubt, the best and greatest mangoes i have had in a long time. sublimely succulent. heavenly. really, i never know how grace manifests where.

here's to that magic frank.

i look into this mound of golden sunshine, and say, is this a deconstructed, modernist version of butternut squash soup? my super-uber cool friend, frank, sends out another one of his ringing, joyous laughter cascades and say, post-modernist. he roasted butternut squash with, in his words, slabs of butter, then purees it with yet more butter. eating frank's food means leaving calorie-count at his door. but then, he lives in seattle. how often do i get to eat his fabulous food? as my beloved aunt julia, as in julia child, says about crepe suzette, eat it once in a while. besides with food prepared with such thoughtfulness and delight as frank's it's pure. did i mention top-notch ingredients? for instance, he dollops raspberry yoghurt over butternut squash. this is organic greek yoghurt with quality raspberry. topping this post-modernist babe off is a whip of creme fraiche. every spoonful is fresh sunshine in the mouth.

frank begins the meal with 'laughter in the mouth.' bits of browned duck and roasted walnuts sit in a boat of endive. a little drip of maple syrup and dots of dill transform this creation into, i would say, a savory reinvention of banana split.

now, there is wild caught copper river king salmon, and there is trol-caught salmon. the latter costs three times as much. before i actually taste it frank says, once you have it you can never go back. i am kind of skeptical until i eat it. o me o my, it's juicy, buttery. the texture is tender and bouncy. flavor profile is complex and wonderful. simply irresistible. it's one of those 'mango' experience. you can describe it all you can but you have to eat the mango to know that ethereal feeling. the best i can say is this is a relaxed, contented salmon. to bring out and enhance this beauty frank slow braises celery root with cream and purees it. the salmon lies on top of this white comforter, next to a stream of blueberry sauce. the sweet and mellow blueberry is kicked up several notches by spicy red bell pepper. a raft of baby carrots of a variety of colors complete the dish. dots of dill continue their recurring appearances. i have two plates. that's how good it is.

dessert is o so simple. lemon sorbet. before i can start to tease frank about awol-ing on dessert i sniff something something and i notice something something sprinkled over the sorbet. it smells like fennel and it's deeper and richer. frank says, fennel pollen, a mario batali trick, put it over anything, it's magic.

frank, i say, you are magic.

me and my inner self, we go places

there i am getting started to reconcile the bank statement. and...boom, i am tested. what do i mean by that? the opening balance is four grand off. the first thought that explodes in my mind says, that's impossible, it was fine when i reconciled last month. for a fleeting while i go blank. the next thing that i am aware of is the rhythmic movement of the breath. just like that i find myself watching the sky of the inner being. it is vast and open and bright and clear. sure there are dark clouds going by. they say, o no, suk wah, you screw up, you can never fix this, blah blah blah, so on and so forth, the usual stuff. but i am not buying into it. i see my entire being settling into a state of calm, confidence and focus. i clearly feel a power steadily surging up from within. supporting me. anchoring me. i feel fluid and flexible. i see the tendency to feel stuck appear. i ask myself, is this who and what i am? no. no. no. i know, from deep within, i am equal to the challenge. i swiftly deepen and lengthen the breath. after a little while i begin to regain a sense of stability. with that i hear one prompting after another from inside. take a pause from it. i follow it. i go into the kitchen, sit down and have some mango. nice, juicy, golden mango. it never ceases to amaze me how magical mango is. as i am absorbed in the nectarean nature of mango i hear the next inner prompting. reconcile the personal account and credit card statement first. i decide that's a smart move. why hold up the process because of a glitch?! i finish the last morsel of mango flesh. i feel so much better. i return to the computer and reconcile the personal account statement. it goes smoothly. no sooner than i hit the 'done' button i see this thought. check the opening and closing balance. i know exactly what it means. i'm doing july. take the june statement. compare the opening and closing balances with those on the quickbook register. if they don't match go back to may. i do that. may is off. i go back to april. still off. then it's march. bingo. the opening balances match. that's it. i pore through the march transactions. within seconds i see where it's off.

hwubby says, you're such a good investigative detective. i say, yeah, me and my inner self, we go places. my inner self says, yeah, there's a solution within every situation, you just have to stay in the present and listen.