me and the golden calf

i'm not an intellectual. i am not a political activist. i am not a thinker. i am a simple yogi. that's why i am irresistibly drawn to the chassidic way of receiving the torah. i look at the tale of the golden calf and i see myself in the israelites. not moses. i wish. true that moses can't control his anger and in that i can claim some resemblance. but moses has this unwavering faith in yhvh and strong detachment to wealth and all things material. think about it. first he abandons his life as the prince of egypt. then, upon hearing a call from a burning bush, he walk away from a stable and wealthy life complete with wife and kids. for what? to lead a stiffnecked people through a whole host of trials and tribulations, and then to be told in his face that he would never live to step foot on the promised land. still his faith remains intact and radiant. i wish i had moses' kind of faith.

anyhow, anyhoo, i'm more of the israelites. how so. i tend to forget just as they forget that it's yhvh who leads them, empowers them to walk out of the narrow land of slavery. i doubt easily just as the israelites. and this is why i love the torah so much. it's authentic. it gives me hope. rabbi lerner says, this is the second revelation. yhvh sees that he can take the slaves out of egypt but he can't take the narrow consciousness out of slaves. they can't hold the sublime truth. kind of like looking straight into the blazing sun. they slip right back into the grip of fear. and here comes compassion. really, without compassion i would have been obliterated all ago.