Friday, February 12, 2010

three mice so far, at least. 45 m + 22 m

here's the latest mouse count. one resting in peace among the roses, one (at least one) scratching crazy behind the steel wool barricaded kitchen cabinets, and one in the house. yes, i saw it while i was putting together a banana bread dough and my chai at 4 am and periodically banging on the counter and cabinet walls attempting to shoo away the scratching one.

how did i feel? initially i felt terrorized. then, a thought surged with phenomenal power. it absorbed my attention. i'm not going to abandon my banana bread and chai. yes, i am scared. no. 'being scared' is not what i am. i see and feel fear but i am not allowing it to stop me from doing what is necessary and important.

how does it affect my meditation? every now and then i do see the fear of a mouse jumping on me. but here's the difference. i watch the fear as the body and mind keep doing what they are supposed to do. the body in a stable easy lotus, the mind quiet and clear, and my awareness mostly on the lovely sound of the easy breath.

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