here's an old, old recurring tendency of mine. it goes like this. i don't have meditation experiences, i don't have good meditations. why? i don't have visions, i don't see lightnings and thunderbolts, and so on and so forth. the most devastating version is something like, man, i can't sit for so many minutes, there's no way i can sit through this.
and so it is today i see a whiff of restlessness passing through my awareness. but no sooner than i catch it i become acutely aware of the steady breathing movement and the response of the chest to it.
the whiff doesn't stand a chance. it soon dissipates like fog, and i am in a bright and clear mind.
i recognize the experience i'm having. a steady sweetness gently imbue all corners of my consciousness and everywhere in the body. it is a subtle sensation and undeniably real to me.
soon i settle into a state where the sense of time passage is different. it's not linear. it's more like time diffusing.
at some point i remember that i have one hundred billion neurons and they have infinite ways of connecting. hey, aren't there one hundred billion galaxies out there? so, indeed, i have within me a universe that is as grand and vast as any other.
i have the hardware. it's up to me to choose what apps to install.
with this, i realize i have a fabulous meditation of wonderful and helpful insights. how cool is that?!
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