favorite activity. snug-cation, hold-cation, fold-cation rolled in one with hwubby before meditation. couldn't imagine nicer preparation than this. pretzel up and supple up the body.
hwubby says, it's so fascinating. i watch these negativities come up, not strong, just kind of making their way in. i can really see them for what they are. habits. old habits. i breathe in, pray to god and they go away. then they come up again. i breathe in and out, pray to god and they go away. just like that. i say, yup, where the light goes, darkness dissolves.
gone are the days when i thought once i turned away from a negative tendency it's goodbye once and for all. nope. that's not how habits work. they are neural circuitries. they don't just go away forever. but they weaken over time as i build up the meditation energy deposits and new circuitries. for instance i still see the fear of a mouse sprinting out from some unexpected corner when i walk into the kitchen. but it is no longer strong enough to control my thought, feeling, speech and action. now it is a residual habit. it's only going to get weaker and weaker unless i feed it. instead, i watch it, breathe in deep, let the light of the inner self shine through and get on with what i intend to do in the kitchen.