awake in a snap at 3. i see the connection between two dots and have a panic attack. pretty much all at once. here's what happens. i knew hwubby would be away all next week. meanwhile yesterday i was notified that 5/14 would be the last day to submit a certain application packet. so i thought i have 2 weeks to prepare. but it isn't until my mind is in that quiet and clear mode that i see all the papers that need hwubby's signature have to be drawn up this week. and then i see something else. there is an affidavit required in the packet. o. no. and so in a blink the old tendency of getting worked up bursts and flares. i definitely see agitation and restlessness in the mind.
by now i know for sure the antidote is turn attention with all my might to the breathing sound and movement and get ready for meditation. to jump into any action in such a state only guarantees an ugly mess. then what? i have to clean it up.
coming out of meditation two hours later i feel centered and clear-headed enough to take a look at the situation with a fresh eye and steady hand. i will listen intently to the promptings from the inner self moment by moment, see what i need to see, remember what i need to remember, and take care of what's necessary step by step.