flexitarian. soup recipe.

let me be clear. i'm not vegetarian. what am i? flexitarian. here's what i really love about the food principles in ayurveda. they are not against any food. the classical ayurveda texts do not say, don't eat this or that. what it says is this, eat what you can digest. if u have good digestion, even poison can turn into nectar. if u have poor digestion then even nectar is poison for you. seriously. three sanskrit words sum it all up. hitabuk, mitabuk, ritabuk. seasonal. local. moderation. ayurveda is not food police. my doctor ji,  dr harikrishnan, in his gentle, straightforward manner, says, once in a while, have fun, you can eat a little bit of everything. simple, huh? but, pay attention, suk wah. the key words are 'once in a while',  'a little bit.' the problem with my old eating habits has a lot to do with...eating more than what i truly need. the stomach is of the size of a fist. ayurveda text says fill half of it with solid food, a quarter water and fourth quarter free. as i look back on how i ate i cannot tell you how thankful i am to my belly. it has been so abused and yet so forgiving, putting up with my mindless eating.

therefore it's not exaggerating to say ben and i have revolutionized the way we eat, what we eat , how much and how we eat. not to say i don't get taken over by residual habits once in a while but those habits are definitely not in the driver seat anymore.

but, i must emphasize that cooking based on ayurveda principles do not mean awful food. quite the opposite. case in point. a lentil soup i make and take to torah study has been so popular that my rabbi says, suk wah, if you want to make this soup you are welcome to my house anytime. several study mates say, suk wah, send me the recipe. nothing makes a cook happier to see the pot scooped out dry and everyone says, who makes this soup, it is delicious. so, here we go.

INGREDIENTS
SERVES 12

SOUP

red lentil, 1 1/2 cup
asafatieda, a nice pinch. crucial to take away gas. get it in indian store. i go to bombay spice house.
cumin, 1/8 tsp
coriander, 1/8 tsp
turmeric, 1/8 tsp
rock salt to taste
pepper, couple of grind
tamari, a splash or two to taste

VEG
onion, medium chop, a few Tsp. take it out if cooking for buddist
cumin seed 1/8 tsp
coconut oil, 1 Tsp, or a little more if you so please
carrot, small cubes, 1/2 cup, more if you like
green bean, bite size, 1/2 cup at least, or other seasonal veg. green bean gives nice color and texture.
turmeric, 1/8 tsp
cumin, 1/8 tsp
coriander, 1/8 tsp
tamari, splash or two
dry mango powder, 1/8 tsp, optional, get it in indian store
asafatieda, a pinch
cilantro leaves, plenty or to taste.

let's start cooking.

wash lentil in room temp water  a few times until water clear. put in soup pot. add 7-8 cups water. put on highest notch, uncovered, to let it come to boil.

while keeping an eye on soup pot chop and start cooking veg. here's the secret. cook veg separately. the end product is so much tastier. flavor profile fuller and richer. anyway heat up a pan or small pot, depending on how much veg i have, put in coconut oil. i hear you asking, why not veg oil? first, it tastes better. second, more importantly, coconut oil has good cholesterol, you know, MCT,  medium chain triglycerides. seriously. google it. coming back to cooking veg. add cumin seed, asafatieda. by the way i always add a pinch of asafatieda. you never know what might cause gas. e.g. cabbage and cauliflower and green leafies are gaseous. when cumin seed sizzle, put in onion. stir for a minute or until translucent. sprinkle a little rock salt and splash of tamari. i always put in these two with each addition of veg. it brings out that extra veg aroma and flavor.

by now lentil is probably coming to boil. the next step is important. remove foam. that's gas producing.  huge. major. then put in asafatieda, bring it down to medium heat so it's rigorously simmering. stir periodically.

meanwhile, return to veg. add cumin, coriander, tumeric. stir rigorously for 30 sec or until you smell that beautiful aroma of spices. now, put in carrot or the veg that takes longest to cook. stir well, do the rock salt and tamari thing. if you like it more peppery go ahead and grind it in at this point. or you might do it at very end. up to you. okay, then put in a few teaspoons of water. let it come back to boil while stirring periodically. cover, cook a minute or two on medium heat. then add in green bean. again, rock salt and tamari. stir. cover. cook 2-3 minutes or until just done, not mushy.  turn off flame, add dry mango powder. throw in cilantro leaves. stir well.

somewhere in midst of cooking veg, lentil is done. add spices, salt, tamari. a word of caution. be light abot it because seasoned veg is already salted. you can always add more salt but can't take it out. turn off flame.

pour the whole veg thing into hot lentil. i scrape every bit off bottom. that's where deep flavor lies where a little caramelization action happen. mix really well.

there you have it. enjoy. pair with a bowl of grain and it's a yummy, full meal.

i want moksha

It's 3.30 am. I'm oiled hair to toe and I am also immersed in incomparable bliss. i never thought it would be possible for me to meditate and chant all day in the full glory of pujari outfit, and then keep up with daily ayurveda treatment during full immersion retreat schedul, not to mention preparing food according to ayurveda guidelines from dr harikrishnan. but then with guru's grace, full-on support from hwubby, and a burning desire to know my own Self anything is possible. so here i am. 

radical eating shifts

seriously. if anyone predicted even just 12 months ago that i would be happy eating congee and mung bean day in and day out i would roll my eyes up to deep outer space. yes, i did have congee diet for entire 6 weeks of treatments in vaidyagrama. that's because i was determined to get the most out of the treatments and to really get my agni, digestive fire up. from ayurveda's point of view and the rishis saw this 5000 yrs ago in deep meditation, that there is deep connection between our wellbeing and state of digestive fire.

by the way let me confess one of the eating habits of mine that has really messed up the firepower of my agni. downing ice drinks/water while eating. that's like pouring ice water into oven while something is cooking. totally screwing up digestive process. sure, in my teenage years and twenties, youth vigor compensated for it. fast forward i am sleeping in the bed i made up. anyway i noticed a tangible difference in my wellbeing baseline after the first round of panchakarma. and as my guru says again and again, you need a strong and pure body to attain the highest goal of the path. so i went ahead and did 6 wks of congee. i mean 3 meals a day.

look. here's breakfast. congee. whole mung. papadam? just a gesture of taste. sometimes there is a half teaspoon of ghee in congee. btw i make my own ghee during full moon. a very soothing thing to do and homemade ghee is so much more fragrant and flavorful. anyhow, believe it or not, the modest combo is filling. i don't feel heavy and it takes me thru the morning clear and light and, surprise, there is no craving for snack. bye bye to potato chips. in fact every so often i would offer the papadam to hwubby. by the way he did 6 wks of congee diet as well. every now and then he would have thoughts of pastrami and lox and bagel. one day he saw this feature in local newspaper about some special idlee, fermented rice cake, with spicy dippings, he went on and on about it, really wanted to go and have some. it was fun watching the doctors kindly and patiently trying to talk him out of it, saying things like, o, it's overhyped. but, i have to give credit to hwubby. he let it go and had a good laugh out of the whole episode.


before i left vaidyagrama, i decided to get a pressure cooker. that's a huge decision on my part. i had a terrible experience with pressure cooker before, you know, things splashing all over the walls. but kavita, the food expert in vaidyagrama, said definitely  that in order to get that kind of texture for whole mung it had to be done in pressure cooker, not to mention it takes a lot less time to cook. that makes it so much easier to have fresh food instead of eating leftover. that pressure cooker turns out to be a huge blessing. without it i wouldn't be able to eat the way i am doing now.

This is lunch. main meal of the day. congee, boiled veg, buttermilk. the buttermilk in vaidyagrama is made from what's left after churning butter from homemade curd. this is the one thing i have to cheat. i just dilute whole yogurt  with hot water,  turmeric and salt. i suspect it's something to do with the amount of curd. for two people it doesn't make sense to make a liter of curd just to get two small bowls of buttermilk. a lot of waste. i will have to look into that when i go back to vaidyagrama this december.

well, back to where i am. five months after panchakarma. i am still eating congee day in and out. i can feel the energy baseline is higher, energy level even. telltale sign is meditations are better than ever. i sit 1 1/2 hr easy and it feels less and less a struggle to hold that state as i go about the day. i truly taste what the scriptures mean by 'living in a witnessing state.' it's kind of like what my guru's guru says, 'have preference, but no attachment.' i am very happy to eat out - well, i am more aware of food combinations but that's another blog entry - and enjoy. as my doctor harikrishnan says, 'if you can digest it, once in a while, in moderation.' wise, don't you think? so we enjoyed good dogs and burger  and ice cream for july fourth, wiped out a fabulous ethiopian feast of injera and lamb with my cousins and nephew and niece in a summer celebration,  but i am just as happy having my boiled veg and kitcheri for supper night in and out. fine with either.

i can see the way i related to food was more like an addict.  now i am in the driver seat, i'm leading the cow, not the other way round. a major step towards true and lasting freedom.  mooo.

oil bath. oil bliss. samosa. passover.

photo by nat

vaidyagrama is not a spa. i said this before, i say this again. doctorji would, patiently and kindly, say, goal of treatments is not to pamper on a superficial level. yet, there are times when i say to myself, this is as good as it gets when it comes to pampering. treatment in point is...drumroll please...pizhichil. that’s what it’s called in sanskrit.  i call this samosa treatment. turn and turn you in hot oil till you are cooked properly. got the picture? physically it’s oil bath. emotionally it’s oil bliss.  it’s oil heaven, i'm not kidding. come on, suk wah. what are you talking about?

here’s how it goes down.

picture this. 3000ml of very warm medicated sesame oil. 3 therapists. one therapist on left, another on right. they work in sync over the body parts in choreographed movements while abundantly and steadily streaming warm oil over the body part. third therapist collects oil draining from the neem treatment table, warm them up in a big pot over a burner, and keep supplying buckets of warm oil to the two therapists. it’s an elaborate and complex treatment. very hard work. a luxurious extravaganza. a treatment fit for queen.

how sublimely royal i feel as blankets of warm oil drape over feet. waves of relaxed feeling steadily swell up all the way to crown of head. i experience this resplendent empress shining brightly within me and that’s who i really am. all that layers that hold me back from living in that place are being washed off me. meanwhile oil sheets flow over and into everywhere, front and back - depending on whether i am lying on stomach or back or sides - permeating every pore. so calming. folks, there is a sky of difference between calm and spacing out. true calm implies alert, vigilant and focused. focusing on what? what else, where else but the present moment within the serene grounds in the midst of forest.

photo by nat

as viscous warm oil irrigate body parts i see the mind being pulled back from the usual frenetic thinking pace.  mental activity is restored to its natural pace....close to nil. only a silent hum, that is in sync with the natural breathing, remains. whatever thoughts, emotion appear they are weak. i see them form and dissolve, come and go. it is utterly evident that this is how my inner state ought to be, not the other way round. it’s like seeing with clean glasses. i realize i have been seeing myself and the world with foggy and smudgy lenses that are smeared with limitation and negativity. seeing now comes from an inner place that is quiet. still. serene. alert. clear. this is like the inner swiss clock that has been running a mile a sec is being returned to the easeful tick-tocking it ought to be doing.

photo by nat

as i type this i just came out of a full-immersion meditation retreat a few days prior. for 12 hours everyday we meditated and chanted om namah shivaya. this is something i do at least once a year or as often as ashram would have it. this time around it was so effortless to enter into deep and profound silence very soon after i sat into easy cross-legged posture. it became so easy, a given, something natural. i experience the teaching that says, meditation spontaneously happens. what’s even more amazing is that i am able to go thru worldly activity while carrying this state within me days after the retreat. it is still going strong. before i would see this precious state gradually weakening. in my heart of hearts i see the connection between this strengthening and the impact of having gone through seven days of ‘samosa treatment.’

look, there are two types of ama, aka toxins in body, one from improper metabolism of food, the other from...you guess right, mental ama, residuals of negative thoughts, feeling and emotion accumulated over a period of time, say, a decade, or, in my case, a few. i hear that the mind produces 20-30 thoughts per minute. that’s 30-50,000 per day. you do the math for a few decades. there is a chinese saying that goes like this. dripping water pierce rock.

since  i am writing this during passover, it comes to me what some rabbis say about the way pharaoh keep changing his mind about letting jewish people go. after changing his mind a few times torah says pharaoh’s mind is ‘hardened.’ to me, at this moment, it means to me the vibrations of his negative thoughts, speech and action became ama. they didn’t get eliminated. they snowballed,  ‘hardened’ the way he thought, spoke and acted. since i am a hassidic kind of girl, i like to read the passover story as my own story. all that negativity i had in the past don't just disappear. they stay, take root, and keep steering my body and mind away from optimal level. they gotta go. let my inner queen leave the bondage of negative vibes. let all that ama go.

photo by nat

my doctorji, dr harikrishnan, is a very grounded, head-on-the-shoulder fellow. i ask, what exactly does pizhichil do? he says, body has to be oiled before act of purification, you just came out of purgation so you need to be oiled before we perform another act of purification on you. in all my excitement i tell him all this wonderful feelings and experiences i have in the treatment. he listens intently, nods, and says in his ever even tone, ‘i see. you like it.’ well, ‘like’ is an understatement. if i were in a spa i would tick off, on the treatment menu, pizhichil and mark it big and bright, DAILY. unfortunately this is not a spa. panchakarma is equivalent to a major surgical procedure. just like surgery it has to be done in a hospital. pizhichil is a powerful treatment, part and parcel of panchakarma. just like surgery it has to be done in a hospital, as prescribed by doctor. o, well, i take this as another opportunity to cultivate letting go of wanting what i like and embracing what i need. good news is, here, what i need is  no different from what i like. om namah shivaya. cool.

drinking oil. wonder oil. mantra. japa.

photo by sonia

i have to confess. even after twenty years i really didn't have much of a relationship with the mantra om namah shivaya. until i was about to drink 180 ml of medicated sesame oil at 6.30 am on jan 1, 2013. the truth of the matter is i have always felt more naturally connected to the mantra Hamsa. fortunately my guru is totally okay with that. anyway there i am staring down into the cup of golden oil.  all i know is i am at a forkroad. either i am going to throw up or.....it is at that moment that quietly and suddenly om namah shivaya arises within. strong and clear. in another fraction of a moment i see within my guru's beaming face. we are eye to eye. i feel this surge of fearlessness steadily fill me up. i know exactly what to do. quietly i say om namah shivaya. i take a gulp. another round of mantra. another gulp. and so on and so forth. until cup is empty and my being is filled with pure golden oil and pure golden mantra.

two days later my sadhana study buddy emailed me the new year message from shri guru. what else but....mantra japa. and the mantra to focus on this year is...drum roll.... om namah shivaya.

i have to say that was such an 'ego massage' moment. i was seriously congratulating myself for being so tuned in. :)

all self-praising aside, ever since then my heart has been gushing with love for om namah shivaya. fresh love. sweet love. i would find myself loudly saying it and it is in sync with whatever emotion that is going thru me. i say om namah shivaya in an angry tone. i say om namah shivaya in a questioning tone. i say om namah shivaya in a 'whatever' tone. in a frustrated tone. in a happy tone. i say it anywhere. when i am waving flame in temple. when i am doing grocery, picking out mango and carrot. when i am drinking decaf - no, ayurveda doesn't say you shouldn't eat this or drink that, what the ancient text says is if you can digest it you can eat anything in moderation once in a while. om namah shivaya to the ancient rishis and my doctorji who follows the texts to the dots and tees, which, by the way, is why i love vaidyagrama so much.  doctorji's mantra is,'we only do what the text says.'

back from detour, suk wah. what am i talking about? o yes, the mantra om namah shivaya and snehapana, drinking oil. the mind would never be able to figure out the mechanism by which going thru this major panchakarma treatment would get me to the place of enjoying mantra repetition. but, hey, i don't know exactly how electricity works either. i can still enjoy the benefits of it. to me this is what panchkarma is about, clearing the way for me to plug into the source of divine love. let that sublime electric current flow thru me. by the way, a facebook friend says, wonder oil it is. he's right. this, ta-da, is the wonder oil treatment.  It unveils the light of the mantra. om namah shivaya

photo by nat

himalayas come to us

this hair cut happens five weeks into our panchakarma at vaidyagrama. what's cool about this is that during the main treatments we are not allowed to cut hair, shave nor trim nails. really. i have never seen hwubby with a beard till then. that jew-fro is growing wild and happy. so why is that? according to ayurveda, the knowledge of health, wellbeing and longeity, nails and hair are wastes. their growth is part and parcel of the elimination and cleansing and purification process.

so on this sunday a barber from a neighboring village comes in and does his thing. i love it. when doctor harik comes in the next morning he says, nice cut, it's a boy cut. well, exactly how i would have liked it. what about hwubby. check this out.

gorgeous, huh. by the way, the guy he is with is shankar bhau. by-by the way, bhau is their endearing way of calling a friend 'brother.' sharkar bhau is the priest in a distinguished temple 11,000 feet up on himalayas. on november 15 of each year he would close the temple for winter. the last thing he does is to put enough ghee in a lamp so that it will keep ablaze thru out winter. this man, i'm telling you, is overflowing with joy and devotion. he blesses the mala that is around hwubby's neck. hwubby loves, loves, loves him. so do i. when he hums a vedic mantra i can feel the power that flows through five thousand years, that sources from before time and will go on as long as there is time. ever fresh. ever full. ever potent. he makes the prasad for the new year day puja. as i type this i am tasting the sweet vibration in that heavenly sweet.

see how fortunate we are. we don't have to go to himalayas. himalayas come to us. so let's chant.

prasad. blessed sweets

there are a handful times during our six and a half weeks in vaidyagrama when we actually had food that was sweetened with sugar. NO, not meals. definitely, absolutely not in the daily food. doctorji says, we don't cook for the tongue, we want your digestive system to rest and your liver to work as little as possible during panchakarma. so food in vaidyagrama is what in the west would label as 'high carb, low protein.' I am not exaggerating when i say one patient said, you are starving us. the truth of the matter is, according to ayurveda, i'm told, the ideal food protocol during panchakarma is this. two meals a day. boiled veg. kanji, meaning rice and water. it might sound unbearable. but i have to say, it really grows on me. after a short while i have to beg dr harik, pls, may i have kanji three times a day? no kidding. hwubby says, you have to understand how much suk wah loves to eat.

i discover that the natural flavors and tastes of veg comes through delightfully and enticingly by boiling them. this has made a huge shift in the way i cook now.

for those who are concerned with protein deficiency, don't you worry. there's plenty of mung. now at home we are eating mung in one form or another everyday. it's a must-have for hwubby's breakfast.

in addition, one of my daily meds is a cup of hot milk, that is freshly drawn from a cow on the grounds, and comes with a sweet med. on that note, we are so lucky in east bay. raw milk is available in berkeley bowl. it's at arm's length literally.

all right, what am i talking about? yes, divine sweets. periodically brahmin priests come to the grounds to perform pujas. The core purpose of any puja is to invoke grace, express gratitude for blessings bestowed upon us, pray for harmony, wellbeing for all, strength and courage to move through obstacles, both within and without. most of all we ask for divine guidance to connect with our own love, our divinity, within and see the same love and divinity in everything, everywhere in the universe.

it is the tradition to offer sweets that are specially made for the puja. here, if i recall correctly, it's rice, nuts, pure sugar cane juice, cardamom, ginger, turmeric. an offering to cows on that day in the year when we express our thanks to these phenomenal beings who work hard, serve mankind with quiet steadfastness and make miracle food from humble source. no exaggeration.  they eat grass and produce milk.

anyhow, such is the power of blessed food. it is infused with the nectarean vibration of the hours of vedic chants. truly sweets from seventh heaven. no wonder even doctor ji allow us to partake it during panchakarma. unless you are going thru some intensely intense treatment, like drinking ghee.

marshmallows today

the thing i really love about this treatment/program in vaidyagrama is they are equally hands on about medicine and food. doctor actually comes into cooking class to make sure the students, such as me, do not twistarm the kind and sweet cooks into making something not according to the ayurveda way. it felt hard in the moment. what do you mean i can't have sweet after supper?

as i look back now i can see that the docs and cooks and therapists are up against some very entrenched habits in me, like addicting to sweets and overeating.

it's just over three months after panchakarma. i can already see the old habits hovering, looking for a comeback. all right, let me confess, i had three marshmallows this afternoon. all right, actually four. come on, folks. look at the bright side. i could have downed half a bag. am i making progress? you bet. am i there yet? in the words and cadence of my dr harikrishnan, he would pause momentarily and say, eventually, after several courses of treatments.

okay, doctor. we are coming back.

that glutton is still in suk wah

before hwubby going away for a week, i pack him up good, i mean, pack up a box of provisions and another of medicine. he's determined to keep doing what we have learned from vaidyagrama and, believe you me, we have been working hard since coming home to implement whatever we can.

well, sure, cut me some slack if you will. there are still some practices i have not put in place yet. like what? like applying warm oil all over and keep it for thirty minutes as early morning practice. really. this is not india and it's winter. what with all the food practices i have to get up at three and do things naked in the kitchen. sorry, call me weakling, whatever.

anyway this is not about me. back to hwubby. bless his heart. keep in mind he is staying with a friend. so, being considerate and sensitive as he is, he makes sure he gets everything done before the friend gets up. it means applying oil, making food including rolling chapati and preparing medicine. granted he says, my chapati is like rubber, you have to give me a chapati lesson. but he cooks mung bean, germ of wheat, quinoa.

then i see there're half of the medicine left. he says, yeah, breakfast i do great but then i just can't keep up with it in the evening. it's hard. either he's out there or he gets in late. since the meds are all liquid we need to get some tiny containers that don't leak so he can take them with him. anyhow he says, i just realize how much work it takes for you to keep both of us going day to day.

what is the hardest thing in keeping a satvic diet? hwubby says, not the diet itself, the hardest is what's going on around us, while in vaidyagram it's the mind that is rambling, but now back in the world triggers and temptations are in your face all the time. true. and it doesn't help he has a history of espresso, lox and bagel, pastries, salad, pastrami. on one hand his palate is fundamentally transformed. he basically doesn't want to have what's offered out there. on another hand, these are entrenched tendencies. there are residual conditioning and they can get at you hard, like the aroma of a fresh croissant and well-made latte.

hey, i am no saint either. i am fortunate. for the most part, i don't have to go to these events and functions. i barely go out at all. still i have weak spots all over the place. for instance, fresh chapati with almond butter and sprinkled sugar. i can hear the stomach say, hmmm, too heavy. but can i cut it out for good? i don't know. i look at that nice, fresh dough and i forget. what can i say. i am really happy with a bowl of congee, with milk or ghee, and veg. it's beautiful. it's deliiish. but...there's still that glutton in suk wah. i see that dough, almond butter and sugar and the mind is insanely overcome with the thought, i have to have it. hwubby is right. get that suk wah in a chinese restaurant she will go nuts. i know. i was talking to a chinese meditator. what were we talking about? comparing notes on traditional shanghainese food. perfectly stewed fiver flower belly. fried and braised eel. spicy beef.

hwubby asks dr harikrishnan, when will it go away? doctorji goes quiet, thinks deeply. in his signature quiet, steady and wise tone of voice, he says, eventually. then another pause before he says, after several courses of treatments. i guess this is kind of like cleaning a very dirty pot that has a lot of hard stains. i have to scrub very hard and i have to do it several rounds. and you know what. i keep at it. the pot is now shining.

salutations to chapati, my own chapati

miracle of miracles. i can eat chapati. it has to be my very own handcrafted chapati. but, the point is, i am free from this gluten-free restriction. how does it happen? i don’t know. since the only thing that has happened since my last chapati is....panchakarma i can only wildly guess that all that purging and oiling and baasti-ing have something to do with it. as i receive from my meditation today, i realize i am a great alchemist. there is this huge mystical world within me. so much alchemy that are beyond the radar screen of regular awareness is going on. i probably will never know the detailed biochemical action that is involved. but, who cares. i don’t have to know how electricity works to enjoy its benefits, right? i do know this, though. a big part of what they do in vaidyagrama is to get my digestive fire up. with so much toxins removed and i am striving to do the right things, like, not to drink cold things, particularly during meals, my digestive fire is not dampened the way it was used to. really, i had my days of downing icy coke while overeating. 

of course there is challenge down the line. for instance, does it mean i am never going to have ice cream again? what about my lovely ice cream maker? is it goodwill bound? and check this one out. when am i going to start churning butter?

to be continued. meanwhile i enjoy my hot off the stovetop chapati. generously dollop ghee - handcrafted by....me - and, this part is not to be revealed to my dr hari k, sprinkled with organice cane sugar and almond butter. it’s yummy breakfast with a cup of tea, i mean, that tea as made in vaidyagrama, aka, chai without black tea.


have i also mentioned it's thrilling to see the almost done chapati swell to this happy buddha belly? the earthy aroma is golden and tantalizing. i am mouthwatering and all fired up.

ramkumar rice pudding

what’s going on here? me and a bunch of ladies, not shown here in pic, are working our charm on dr harikrishnan. a kind and wise man who doesn’t beat around the bush. in his own words, he says, what do you want from me? i’ll get to that in a sec. the lead up to all this is this. i really want to eat the way i eat here when i go home, at least for two to three months so that we can really make space for the panchakarma benefits to blossom. my wish is granted. kavita, the mastermind and supervisor in this arena around here, in response to our request, sets up cooking classes.

at my special pleading, here in this class, she is making congee. at first a couple of ladies roll eyeballs and say, all in good lightheartedness, suk wah, what are you thinking, it’s just rice cooked in water, what’s there to that. well, turns out there’s more to that. to begin with, this is organic broken red rice. secondly kavita ladles the washed rice into boiling water. i forgot to ask her what’s the difference between doing this way and bringing rice and water to boil together. and then she lets the mixture cook uncovered, boiling rigorously. she stirs frequently, adds liquid periodically. brings to mind cooking risotto. cannot leave risotto unattended on stovetop. in twenty minutes, voila, just like risotto, a textured congee is ready. sort of like extremely soft rice and feels to the stomach full and light all at once.

then kavita says, at this stage you can add milk. boom. epiphany. i say, this is kheer? kavita says, yes, yes, you can add jaggery, nuts, raisins. i say, to finish her thought, cardamom. kavita beams, her moon face shines and she says, yes, yes. but, being so loyal to the vaidyagrama vision, she quickly says, you have to get doctor’s permission. it is at that moment that dr harikrishnan arrives on the scene. i seize the moment and say, you know how much we love you dr harikrishnan. not missing a beat he smiles and says, what do you want from me? we all laugh. then streams of sweet words flow at him from all four corners. o please, please, dr harikrishnan. finally he says, okay, one spoon. i can hear the reluctance and resistance in his voice. this dr harikrishnan. he has only one thing on his mind. the welfare of patients. he is kind, gentle, sensitive, soft spoken. when he says no it carries authority and gravitas. i would put my life in his hand in a heartbeat although it means saying bye bye to snacks and treats and even decaf.

anyway, a spoon of rice pudding is done deal, right? not so fast. a couple of hours later i am hopping to the hall for the evening program and so looking forward to the spoon of rice pudding in the group supper to come. you see, the milk comes from karuna's mom. who's she? here, meet my new friend, karuna's mom who supplies the milk for our treatments and treaties. she's like me when she is eating. very focused. no interest in anything else. that cutesie next to her is karuna. my point is the milk couldn't be fresher and lighter. it never ceases to amaze me how she eats grass and shoots out this super-nutritious and super-duper-yummy nectar.

i somewhat digress. anyhow i see dr harikrishnan and dr ramkumar sitting in the short passageway leading to the hall. after a sweet and happy exchange i thank dr harikrishnan for his mercy on us. dr ramkumar, in his signature sunshine grin, says, you see the doctors work in consensus here, one doctor says okay can be overturned. uc-oh, i say, you can't do that, dr harikrishnan is a man of honor. that dr ramkumar just won’t budge. he’s as charming as ever. he just won’t budge. he says, there'll be rice pudding, it’s going to be a modified version. all right, something is better than nothing. after all their eyes are all on keeping the stomach work as little as possible during panchakarma.

turns out this rice pudding is a highly modified version. sure, it’s more than one spoon. a small bowl of it. but i don’t taste any jaggery at all. an assistant doctor goes around with a pot of jaggery. when he comes round to me, i say, one tiny spoon, please? he says, no. only guests who are not in treatments can put jaggery into their ‘fake’ rice pudding. no no no,  i have a better name for this. the ramkumar rice pudding.

earlier in the evening program, dr ramkumar says to the effect, they have to choose between being a good host or good doctor. guess what these guys have chosen.

golden congee

we talk a lot about food an eating in vaidyagrama. to kick it off, a visiting swami says, with a sunshine grin on his round moon face, in his impeccable indian accent, this is a five star ashram and the food is colorless, odorless and tasteless. he bursts into a hearty laughter. it’s contagious.

all kidding aside, as dr harikrishnan says calmly and clearly, they work hard to make neutral food here, they purposely don’t cook for the tongue. so when you eat you are truly only eating for the stomach. but let me be clear. the menus are thoughtfully designed. they are carbo-centered because protein makes your liver work a lot more than carbs and during treatments they want your liver to work as little as possible. ingredients are fresh and naturally grown. cooking is simple. no chilies, garlic, fermented or fried food. salt is used sparingly and only rock salt. no refined sugar. our herbal drinks are sweetened with jaggery, pure solidified cane juice.

a lot of the indian food i’ve been eating are out the window. how about mango lassi? no. why? yoghurt is fermented. milk and fruit are absolutely a no-no combo in ayurveda. together in your stomach they produce toxins. such toxins, according to ayurveda, are the root of all diseases. by the way toxins are also produced when your digestion is not strong and food is not metabolized properly.

on a side note ayurveda don’t treat food allergies individually. they believe if the person has strong digestive fire and good eating habits there’s no such thing as something you can’t eat in moderate amounts judiciously. that’s what dr harikrishnan says when i tell him i am wheat sensitive. that was a month ago. two nights ago supper was chapatis and beet chutney. i didn’t feel like sending them back. hwubby says, when don’t you try it. so i do. sure i am paying more attention about chewing well. but the fact remains i don’t get headache and feel heavy after chapatis.

having said that i have to say my top fave staple food is congee. so i’ve been trying to convince dr harikrishnan to let me have congee as the grain during the rest of my stay. he thinks deeply and turns to unni, the assistant doctor, put a little ghee in her congee for breakfast and lunch, not supper. then he says to me, you need to gain some strength, you can gain a little weight and you don’t want to. really. he is so perceptive.

anyhow, there you have it. my breakfast. golden congee of red rice with a little ghee. whole mung. papadam. i can tell my stomach loves it. i feel wonderful. none of those heavy and dull feeling i always have after food.

bowel talk

let me get this straight off the bet. bowel talk is big here. in fact, when dr harikrishnan comes at seven thirty in the morning, he asks four questions before he examines tongue and reads pulse. how’s sleep? bowel today? how’s appetite? urine normal? by the way chinese medicine is like that as well. when do you poop? what’s the poop like? consistency, color, odor? there’s a sheet that we have to fill in everyday that is titled ‘recording of bowel movement details.’ bowel talk is serious business here. not an evening program goes by without a mentioning from dr ramkumar or a question from someone going through panchakarma about bowel in one way or another. i’m not kidding. like i ask, is egg ayurveda correct? ramkumar says, among other things, egg increases constipation. one person asks, what if we make an omelette, or scramble egg? dr chuckles and says, doesn’t matter how you cook it, it’s still egg. the poor guy has been on seven days of drinking ghee, meaning seven meals of rice porridge. i can’t blame him for having thoughts of an omelette.

i don’t give it any thought to take psyllium everyday. but dr ramkumar says, in an evening program, from ayurveda’s point of view, if your body is strong, digestive fire is strong, you ought to be able to get out of bed in the morning and have bowel without using any external stimulant. in fact this is one of the fifteen major health indicators. i can say this much. if i don’t poop early in the day my meditation takes on a different quality and i  feel kind of off and stuffed and heavy and dull by the afternoon. on this note ramkumar tells a poignant true story. he is speaking to this person, a go-getter, a big busy guy apparently. the person believes he is healthy. ramkumar asks, at night can you go to bed and fall asleep quickly. the man says, no, that's the one thing i cannot do. then ramkumar asks, in the morning can you get up and get out of bed right away, feeling rested? the man says, no, i am not awake until i have coffee. ramkumar asks the third question, can you have bowel in the morning not taking anything else, not even water? the man says, i don't want to hear any more from you.

psyllium has its rightful place in the universe but if i can’t poop without taking it on a daily basis, it’s dependency, it’s attachment. we chinese say, you can’t just treat the headache or footache. in the same way, ayurveda doesn’t treat constipation. it treats the person with this condition of constipation. when i tell dr harikrishnan i have been having bowel by seven thirty, before he comes, for four days, a big smile flashes across his otherwise usually serious expression. indeed i have been feeling lighter, clearer. i feel free.