i'm really getting better at staying connected with the inner self. how do i know that for sure? i went through a test yesterday. here's how it went down. i take a bus to bread of india, a restaurant, for a party only to find out upon arrival that it's closed. hwubby is out of town. i call him. it turns out that it's the bread of india on the other side of town. hwubby says, take a cab. i say, no, i love to chant and eat with a bunch of yogis but i don't want to take a cab. i start calling a couple of people to see if i could get a ride only to reach voice greetings. then hwubby calls me back, why don't you find out if this bus takes you to somewhere near there? i look up the route map at the stop. it looks like the bus goes to 9th street and the restaurant is on 10th street. finally the bus arrives. i hop on, ask the driver, does this go to 10th, or clay? she says, where do you want to go? i say, 10th and clay. she says, i'll let you know. i have no idea what that means. i thank her, sit down, call hwubby again. he says, ask her, does she go to broadway? so i do. the lady pauses momentarily, says, i go to broadway, i go to 11th and clay. i say, wow, perfect, you make my day.
when i get off the bus it's just five seconds from the restaurant. i walk into the opening hymn that invokes grace. we chant our hearts out, work up the appetite for a fantastic indian meal. how fantastic? the nann bread, which has wheat, is so good i can eat it without having headache.
as i reflect on the trip i see i go through the twists and turns without getting all worked up. in fact i am able to stay with the changes in a calm and open way. and calm is the nature of the inner self. when hwubby suggests the thing about the bus i hear the mind yapping and yapping, a bus is not a cab, it's not going to get you where you want to go, forget it. i remember watching all this and having the sense that these are just thoughts, judging, limiting thoughts, really. i say, you're not in the driver seat of my life anymore. i'm determined to stay in the moment. and the inner self always dwells in the present moment. i refuse to go with the limiting thoughts because the inner self is the possibility of all possibilities.