old tendency in clever disguise. 45m + 28m

fascinating to see how an old tendency comes back in a new way, subtle way.

it goes like this. hmmm. i don't know what to blog about. i don't have any meditation experience.

oops.


i watch the mind going along with it. and thanks to the cumulative power of my practice i keep sitting in my easy breath and easy lotus posture. really, it's so comfortable, so sweet, so nice, who cares if there's no thunder and lightning and vision.

so my awareness surfs and turfs in the ocean deep of consciousness freed from expectations.

in the dynamic quiet and openness i see this emerging bright and clear from my memory trove. when my meditation teacher was younger, she was concerned that she was not having meditation experiences. when her teacher found that out, he said, you are so fortunate just to be able to sit quietly.

in that moment i recognize the tendency for what it is. some residue that comes from poverty consciousness.

you are not a slave in narrow consciousness anymore, suk wah. you left.

indeed, i vow never to return again. thanks to meditation i can see through the clever disguise of the tendency.