nib it in the bud. 40 m + 23 m

i watch the residual tendency to compare coming in as i come to awake. it no longer has the control over me the way it used to thanks to all that effort i've been putting in to build up the connection to the inner self. but, like weeds, it has a way to spring a shoot above ground just when i think i've got rid of it once and for all.

i can feel a twitch of restlessness, agitation lurking to slice and dice the mind into a worked up mush.

fortunately i catch it when it is tiny. i can nib it in the bud.

i hold on to the discipline like my dear life. methodically i follow through with all the small, specific actions i've put in place. with every round of easy breath i feel a little more settled.

by the time i get to silently humming and feel the buoyant buzz in the nose, in the forehead, in the vast consciousness that is shining satiny black i'm just watching the tendency weakened to something like a soft mist.

what is really coming through in the ocean sound of the breath is a sense of gratitude. grateful that i am catching it before it becomes a full blown catastrophe. grateful that i have the tools to take care of it. grateful that i have the awareness that the tendency, any tendency for that matter, is just weather, and like any weather, it will go away.