who knew?! yogic realization while doing finances. of course. why not. here's how it goes down. there i am working on the p and l and, in a quiet manner, i notice a deepening in my outbreaths. my awareness is in this huge subtle space while i am aware of the contours of the body. a question arises. is this subtle space in my body? or the body inside the space? in a mystical way this question illuminates something that has been sort of frustrating me for a long while, like, years. i have been attempting over and over to meditate on the space between breaths. breathe in. notice where breath arises. breathe out. notice where the breath dissolves into. after a little while i always gets confused. am i doing the right thing? i seem to have lost track of where the breath arises and where it dissolves into. is the former outside of me? is the latter inside me? and so it all makes me feel i am sort of not getting anywhere, not 'getting it.' back to where i am, preparing a spreadsheet of financial data, and i clearly see that there is only one space. the body as a barrier is just a limiting thought. turning away from that thought, what am i left with? the understanding that this subtle space is within the body and the body is within the subtle space. this is such a paradox that no wonder the mind has trouble wrapping it around.
now i can return to the spreadsheet. thank you, my own innermost self, for the illumination.