Saturday, September 11, 2010

'off the mark' is away from the present moment

the way i see the purpose of the high holidays, as the rabbi teaches, is to examine those parts of me that were 'off the mark' last year. i love the beautiful and fantastic singing and praying and dancing that is a big part of the high holiday tradition. they really cheerlead me. it's like the sweet syrup in medicine. it's not pleasant to look at what i did, what i said and what i thought that were not true, kind, necessary and appropriate. but the singing and dancing make it easier to go through the discomforts, help me to stay connected to my inner self which is the source of kindness, courage, strength and joy. then it's not a matter of who's right, who's wrong, who's hurt me, i don't like this or that, i don't think i can make it, this is too much, or too little. blah blah blah.

in this morning's meditation i can see some thought waves of worry, anxiety about the coming day and weeks. i can see the tendency to feel daunted looming and hovering. with every inbreath i take in a fresh dose of sweetness and goodness from the universe. i rest in the open quiet during the brief pause between breaths. with every outbreath i sweep out a little more of the entrenched tendency to feel daunted and contracted. i watch the mind going through some activity. just that. what about the contents of the mental activity? they have nothing to do with what is in the present moment.

ahhh. the present moment is the bull's eye. 'off the mark' means the shooting arrow of mental activity sends me off the track of present moment.

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