another old habit

here's a habit that i still have a lot to work on. holding grudges. i awake this morning to a state of mind that is like an old record stuck in a groove. a particular thought and feeling towards a person about things that are in the past. and this person, may she rest in peace, is dead. i manage to meditate for 2 hours. a lot of it is without regular consciousness, i.e. some sort of meditative sleep. i come out of meditation feeling clearer and lighter. the strangle of the habit is no longer strong enough to seize me. i just watch it. it is not influencing, much less controlling, my thought, speech and behavior.