visiting a friend in convalescence

i never know when i get presented with a opportunity to work on a tendency, or dare i say, residual tendency, since i have been putting in steady, sweet efforts to not getting caught up in it.

here's a scenario. i've been spending time with a dear spiritual sister who is recuperating from 'sudden death syndrome,' a riveting heart drama. all i can do is to be with her, help her arrange things around the living space to make it work for her. things like putting out the pans and pots she need to use frequently because she can't bend down or lift her arms, set up a blender, a toaster-oven, and, most important of all, unclutter. she says, i realize i don't need half of the things. it's been really sweet.

the tendency i'm referring to is 'judging.' here's how it goes. while on one hand most visitors are kind, considerate and sensitive, there are people, she says, are just....and i can't think of a nice and generous word for it right now. there was this one who stayed for hours and my friend felt like she had to entertain the visitor. there was that one who, seeing my friend making a chicken dish for her lunch, asked, do you have more of it? then there was this one who, soon after walking through the door, couldn't wait to start unload her own emotional misery.

as my sweet-natured friend tells me all this, i have to make a conscious effort to turn my attention to the breathing movement and the soothing hum flowing through it while i say to myself, what's up with these people, what are they thinking?

my inner self says, they are what they are. that helps. the mental agitation fades.