connectedness. spiritual workout. twelve-step

of all the bad and negative emotions and feelings which is the most awful? for me it is loneliness. i am even feeling bursts of shame and embarrassment just becoming vaguely aware of the yucky things i did and said out of loneliness. anyway. last night as i sing om with fellow yogis in our regular gathering - i call it spiritual workout - very soon i hear my voice rising and ebbing with the group's sound. without any pre-arrangement we start a round at the same instant and enter the subtle resonance together. it's a great feeling. our inner selves merge into one conducting the flow of sound. the mind starts to look for a word to encapsulate it. it comes quickly. connectedness. then one insight flows out after another as i am carried aloft on this comforter of sacred sound. i am not alone. we come together as earnest seekers to help each other remember that. the outer connectedness shows me the way to connect with the inner self.

it helps too to have vito's pasta sauce made from home grown tomatoes and prepared in the real italian way.

then i recall a core operating principle of the twelve-step program. when people who truly want to make meaningful change come together we help each other to emerge from feeling isolated. little by little, over time, we reach out for support, guidance and, lo n behold, we see so much higher power already within us, always there, ready, willing and able to walk us step by step to become what we ought to be from where we are.

on the day before thanksgiving i feel so fortunate to have such abundant holy company. really, people who work hard on recovering their connection with higher power are great people to be with. and fun too. in their presence, each in his/her unique and wonderful way, i am reminded who and what i really am. above all, i no longer feel alone. and that is a priceless gift. thank you all.

it's what spiritual work is all about

a trusted and respected aunt says, twelve-step program is my spiritual path, i have no other, i've been to meetings for twenty years. i don't know what to make of it. what i think i know what twelve-step program is doesn't match up with this kind and sweet woman who has no problem speaking her mind in a straightforward yet respectful manner. at that point i know some negative tendency is tainting the way i see twelve-step. arrogance. self-righteousness. so i decide i have to go to one to see that for myself.

what i see is stunning and awesome. week after week, for years, a group of men and women get together, create and sustain a safe and committed environment for sincere seekers to connect with higher power/god/inner self or whatever spiritual truth that rings true for that individual at that point in his/her journey. there is a framework that is articulated in a methodical, step-by-step manner and in plain english. my spiritual teacher says, to the effect, we walk on the path, each with his/her own pace, sometimes a person gets off the path but he/she can always get back on it. last night in a meeting i feel like that. it's a big group. there are people who've been on the path for seven or eight years. there is a woman who is here for the first time after being dealt a huge emotional and psychological blow a couple of days ago. i am there for the fourth time and still figuring out what i am. i am amazed by the depth and breadth in people's shares. one person says, what i discover is that it's not that i don't have erratic thoughts anymore but they are like this. he puts his thumb and forefinger just about touching each other to indicate what he means. wow. he nails it. that's what spiritual work is all about. knowing and exercising the power to turn towards the light of god instead of going with the darkness of erratic thoughts.