surprise. a yogi.

every so often someone comes along and totally busts my spiritual pride. to be more specific it's thoughts like i'm a yogi, what a clever girl i am, i am better than this one and that one, blah blah blah. it's so easy, and tempting, to buy into all this crap. anyhow, anyhoo, we are staying in seattle in this house. a very nice house in a very nice neighborhood. i have never met the owner before. hwubby stumbles into this great good fortune through a friend. hwubby moved in a week and a half ago. me. two days. last night was the first time i got to meet her. actually, it was yesterday morning. we hug before she goes to work. in that brief encounter i am already much impressed. actually, i was impressed way back when hwubby asks her if he - and i - could stay with her. she emails back with a simple, unconditional yes. think about it, suk wah. my guru's guru often says, when asked to sum up his teachings in one word, welcoming. getting back to our hug. she is genuine. i feel the kindness, generosity. i am in my fave pj. that's how at home she makes me feel. turns out she is an accomplished professional with a wide range of interests and knowledge ranging from singing, investing in real estate and morse code. yes, she finds reading in morse code so relaxing that she wrote a program to turn the complete volumes of shellock homes into morse code. her enthusiasm is infectious and delicious. really. the sense of wonder, curiosity, the impulse to create. such is the essence of the selves of all. she doesn't talk yoga. she lives it. it's such a delight to be in her presence. fun all around. but no nonsense. how can she be otherwise when she dwells in her heart and her head is stabilized above shoulder. from the highest vantage point, i see her as a real cool yogi.

triumphant return of chapati

after four weeks of liquid diet and another month of roasted sooji (wheat germ), all because of difficult healing after extensive gum surgery, hwubby says, can i have chapati? i say, you bet, how about with spiced milk? he says, sure. fresh chapati, which i like to refer to as indian matza, sprinkled with ajwain and cumin seeds and topped with home-made ghee, is truly a taste in heaven. a nurturing, invigorating aroma fills the entire being as well as the kitchen. hwubby says, what hwubby is so fortunate to have fresh chapati every morning but me? he's right. and what about the spiced milk? besides adding spices for various purposes it involves a cup of milk and four cups of water boiling down to one cup. turmeric and saffron turn it into gentle molten gold. hwubby always saves me a little of each and then laid them out on beautiful china for me. absolutely food fit for an empress.

i'm not self-congratulatory but i have to say, such bread and milk truly look deceptively simple, it takes subtle skills and sustained attention, it is yoga.

ice cream. duck feet.

a tailored retreat for suk wah. meditation. study scriptures, alone and with fellow yogis. walk in the beautiful nature of lake tahoe. chanting the names of the inner self. yum cha. yummy food. here's the 'tailored' aspect. a bowl of chocolate ice cream and a plate of duck feet. i feel i'm that much closer to paradise:)

the inner self knows what it's doing

the inner self is truly, naturally intelligent. case in point. i have been noticing a couple of interesting things developing in the breathing movement. first. after inhalation, before exhalation begins, there is a brief pause. same with after exhalation and before inhalation. second. the exhalations are longer than the inhalations. i don't know why they are the way they are but they all feel soothing and comforting. it is evident that the body loves it. so i just let them be.

and then i happen to read something a hatha yoga master written about the breath. in his knowledge and experience, there are four part to the breath. the pauses in between exhalations and inhalations are equally important as the exhalations and inhalations themselves. wow. then he says exhalations  remove toxins, not just physical but also mental and emotional. no wonder it feels so good letting out those long, deep outbreaths.

the inner self really knows what it's doing. i just have to stay out of its way.

the inner self takes care of the mystical and pragmatic.

i am finished with the simple hatha yoga stretches, moments away from sitting down to meditate when, quietly, one after another, reminders and instructions come into my mind. all have to do with taking care of affairs properly in a timely fashion. i jot down the keywords and only the keywords just to jolt my memory when it is time to execute them. but for now i move on keeping my eye on the task at hand. meditate.

it takes a while to calm down the mental activity. but it happens. the cumulative power of my practices lift me up and carry me through. little by little i settle into the rhythm of the humming sound of the breath. off i go for two hours to be with my inner self. in a subtle manner i experience moving through a range of consciousness levels. some are deeper than others. some are higher than others. but they are all part and parcel of my vast mystical world within. it's an awesome feeling.

without a doubt the inner self takes care of mystical experiences as well as pragmatic affairs. there's no separation. i have them all.