rudram. vivek. vaidyagrama

with shastri vivek in satara, india

i chant shri rudram everyday. with this man. no, not hwubby. the one in center, clad in white. it took me a while, actually years, before i got into chanting rudram. not an easy chant this one, being a substantive section of vedas, the indian scriptures that have been in existence for more than 5000 years. to cut a long story short, once i started doing in everyday with shastri vivek bhau, yes, vivek's this man's name, i love it more and more everyday. vivek bhau is a 15th generation brahmin priest. that's 1000 years. think about it. chanting vedas is in his blood and gene. he started memorizing the sacred texts since he was a small child. he chants nothing but sacred texts and mantras. as chinese saying goes, the vibration of his chanting wraps around pillars for 3 days. his voice infuses every syllable with fearlessness, sweetness and enthusiasm. it tucks my heart that much closer to god, to my own self.

puja with shastri vivek in satara, india

 i love chanting rudram so much that i want to keep doing it when i am in treatment in vaidyagrama. however knowing i tend to get carried away in chanting, meaning, VERY LOUD i was concerned that it is disturbing to other patients. hwubby says, no, don't stop, just be more aware of your voice level and others. well, guess what, turns out the doctors in vaidyagrama LOVE it. yes, 'we love suk wah's chanting' is what they say. in fact, one afternoon, dr ram kumar came to sit with me while i did shri rudram. you see, all the doctors in vaidyagram know the healing powers of chanting vedas and sacred mantras. in fact, they themselves can recite ancient ayurveda texts off the top of their heads. when hwubby asks them questions like, why i am given this treatment, why is this treatment done in this way and not that way as in those spa-like panchakarma places on the beach, doctorji would spit out a sloka from ayurveda text that prescribe why this treatment is done for this condition and why it is done in this particular way, whatever the question is. these doctors truly dedicate themselves to practice authentic ayurveda according to ancient text. if it's not in the text, then forget it. once someone asks in the daily satsang, is zucchini a suitable veggie for ayurveda diet? doctor says, what is zucchini? once it is explained, doctorji says, it is not in the text. then he continues to say, there are many vegetables listed in the text, i suggest you try them out. there you have it. they are purists and i love them for it. they are the real deal.

where were we? right, chanting. of course i can go on and on about how lovely my voice is and so on and so forth. while that is true, :) and all kidding aside, ayurveda text stipulates that healing happens on multi levels. there are medicines and treatments that deal with the body level. then there are the healing powers of mantras. that's why in vaidyagram chanting is an integral part in daily schedule. a doctor leads morning and evening chants. there are text chants like 'thousand names of vishnu.'  i love that one too. there are mantra chants. in mornings we chant lord ganesh's name 108 times. every riday afternoon we chant to meena the cow.

friday puja to meena, the cow, in vaidyagrama, coim, india     photo by nat

during our second round of panchakarma, daniella, the wonderful ayurveda cook who stayed in the room next to mine said, o, suk wah, that song you sang is so beautiful. it was arati karun. so on the eve before daniella left vaidyagrama dr ramdas gave me permission to do arati karun, waving light to the true guru, in honor of daniella. it was so beautiful. o, i forget to mention that during major treatment like snehapana, doctorji would chant mantras to the cup of warm oil before administering to me. by the way i really believe there is that much more power when doctorji chants simply because the pronunciation is accurate.

on that note let's get back to shastri vivek bhau. he pronounces the syllables exactly as they ought to be. it is said that the full benefits of vedic mantras come thru fully when they are pronounced accurately. it makes sense, doesn't it? i love someone, i say  'i love you'. of course the feeling in how i say it counts but if i blur or speak chinese to american, the full and true meaning will not come thru that well, right? which is why i love to chant rudram with vivek bhau because i want to learn to say the words as they should be.

anyhow vivek bhau, besides being a master of chanting and performing all the wonderful and marvelous services that a bramin priest does he throws himself into living a dream of his. He has a school. he takes in 25 kids, as young as 7. he teaches them vedas and all the skills and disciplines that a brahmin priest ought to have. this is radical and historic. these are kids who were not borne into a lineage of priests the way he was. it has always been for thousands of years a family thing and passing the knowledge on thru oral tradition. these kids live with him. he's like a father to them. he teaches them everything from how to milk a cow, to memorizing sacred texts, to studying astrology,  and so on and so forth. there is no words to describe how i feel when i watch this young boy memorizing text with such a sense of awe and wonder and focus.

suffice to say vivek is a 21st century brahmin priest. he is on facebook, he skypes, he sends mantras via dropbox ( i don't even know what that is.) but what he transmits thru these technologies are ancient and timeless. when he performs a ritual in strict accordance with how sacred text prescribes he would explain at various points in english what he is doing. hwubby has a deep appreciation of this because he feels that much more included when he comprehends what's going on. recently vivek bhau performs a maha puja via live streaming. tens of thousands of seekers and students around the world get to be immersed in these ancient rituals being performed with immense devotion and love. i, for one, got to be this couch potato yogini. what do i mean by that? i sat sit in front of computer screen at 6 am in pyjamas, right there with him in my home as these beautiful mantras flow out of him. for 4 hours. just him and divine presence. no cue cards. no chanting book. enchanting melodies and sublime syllables steadily flow out of him. not a crack in his voice throughout. just pure joy and enthusiasm. he is truly a treasure beyond measure, major boon to humanity, a real deal holy man. he has helped and blessed me and hwubby in so many ways profoundly.

such great good fortune, just sitting still and all these gems and jewels and divine lotuses fall into my lap.

   

 

sukh. healthy place. happy place.

what is good health? dr ramkumar gets asked this question quite often. while brilliant and knowledgeable  he is also very quick-witted and funny. i would go so far as to say that joking around and laughing with him are medicine to me big time. in fact i have so much fun goofing around him that sometimes i think i forget what a brilliant, brilliant clinician he is, his grasp of scriptures and, above all, that laser focus to bring authentic panchakarma to modern times. where was i? anyway, in this particular satsang when one patient asks this question he throws a glance in my direction and says, with his signature sunny grin, let's start with suk wah's name. you see, "suk" sounds like a sanskrit word "sukh." he goes on to say this. "sukh" means happiness, happiness that is whole and wholesome. To be healthy is to be in a happy place, happy body, happy mind.

what is really great about this place is i don't have to look for it anywhere outside. i am this place. it is who and what i am. i do have to take care of it though. this place of mine is a splendid palace, a spectacular mansion. just like any other dwelling there are any number of things that can clutter up the space, clog the drains, crack the paints and so on and so forth. hwubby and i take good care of our house. as part of maintenance, periodically we have to employ the service of a drain specialist to snake out the bath tub drain. it is very sobering to watch him do his thing. it's dirty and hard work. it never ceases to shock and stun me to see mounds and piles of slime and grime and hair being drawn out of the hidden pipes. not a pretty sight. but when i see the flow down the drain so smooth and the tub wall is not smacked with slime i have no doubt that all that effort is worth it, all that unpleasantness are necessary. temporary too.

this is why panchakarma makes so much sense to me. you see, every bit of improperly digested food, every negative thought and emotion, generate a little "slime and grime and hair" that stick to the walls of body and mental tissue. over time the inner pipes are clogged, energy flow is slowed down. even though i kind of know that i am beautiful and bright i don't always feel it as i want to feel. my strong meditation practice does a lot of "snaking out."  as a matter of fact it is in deep meditative state that i realize i need to do panchakarma. the rishis saw this thousands of years ago in deep meditation. they saw how treatments and herbal medicine, when applied properly, can profoundly purify body. since the state of mind is closely related to that of the body it is natural that i feel remarkable difference in my inner state, like seeing through clean glasses. hwubby says, this panchakarma gives a new baseline to what i think good health should be like.

for years i looked at the saree-clad ladies who wave light in pujas and negative thought came. i don't look good in it. therefore you could imagine how surprised i was when soon after my first round of panchakarma i was invited to a pujari training. two things. first, i noticed i felt excited about it, i wanted to do it. something moved deeply within. i could see, in a subtle yet clear way, this elaborate act is 'spontaneous' in the sense that i feel thankful about what the guru's path has gifted me so i want to express gratitude in a beautiful and intimate way, a way that is both timely and timeless. i perform a ritual in the present according to what's prescribed since ancient time. the gestures and moves are alive, aligned with how i feel about myself, everyone and everything.

i did say two things, didn't i? second thing is, timing. all those treatments to cleanse and purify and rejuvenate help me to see and feel as my own true self. it becomes a joyous desire to invest attention and time to prepare myself. it throws a sacred light on applying cosmetics, draping jewelry, pinning head flower and placing pleats to just so. i am not doing things to make me into something i am not but, on the contrary, reflect my own beauty and luminosity.

it is so thrilling to be the vehicle to channel divine blessings to beautiful newly weds. the goddess that I am is showering loving wellwishes on the god and goddess that they are. the experience is humbling as well. It has taken the knowledge from the rishis, dedication of my vaidyagrama family and my guru's love to get me to this place. sukh. huwbby says, you have to acknowledge your own efforts too. he's right. he's always right, isn't he, the greatest god in my world.

golden rule. shoes. abhyange

photo by nat

between shoes, golden rule and ayurveda treatment i’m making quite a leap, don’t you think?

okay, here it goes.

to cut a long story short, these walking shoes i got from the store, they are great for my bunions but they are sooooo expensive even on sale. $168 after 40% off. hwubby said, you walk so much better in them, it's worth it. o, have i mentioned that joanna, the mephisto consultant - yes, that's the title on her card - went thru several pairs and brands and then spot-breaking to get to this point. she worked hard. none felt right until this baby. i had no idea what the alphabets 'mbt' on the shoes meant. i thought that's some kind of mephisto. later on i found out that it's a brand on its own. mbt stands for masai barefoot technology. seriously. folks, they develop technology to try to replicate the experience of walking barefoot in paddyfield. okay, back to my shoe story. i hemmed and hawed. finally what cinched the deal was i could return them in 7 days. i thought i would definitely return them. i just couldn't see myself pouring out almost two hundred bucks for sneakers.

photo by nat

next day. i walked around in them inside house. well, i have to be honest with myself. it's refreshing to feel the feet securely and comfortably housed. also standing in these shoes the body naturally and gently rocks back and forth, kind of like aloft over hawaiian waves. still, the price tag gnawed at me. an inner msg came. online. so i did. sure enough midway down the first page of google search results there’s a site that caught my eye. fast forward a few more hits later i am in this online shoe store exclusively for mbt shoes. check this out. the style that i got from the store is half price here. wooohoooh, i am thrilled. immediately the i-love-bargain tendency took me over. ask hwubby. he would tell you, my darling wife loves to get something for a penny on the dollar. yes, i'm proud to call myself cheap. i love hand-me-down. way back when i was living in ashram, there was a room where donated items were placed. guess where i got all my garments. i call it vintage. now i have a generous and gorgeous sister-in-law who happens to be same size of mine, with fabulous taste, and periodically send me boxes of beautiful stuff. i call it heirloom.

where are we? right, shoes. hmmm, i shall return what i have and order online. the mind is totally sucked into this old tendency when all of a sudden i heard loud and clear two words. GOLDEN RULE. i tried to ignore it but it wouldn’t go away for good. it kept flashing big and bold on the mental screen. the stubbornly lodged tendency wouldn’t budge either. this is about a hundred dollars. why wouldn’t i want to spend 50% less to get the same thing. yet, something strange is happening within. i thought this would be a no brainer yet i experience this unease, queasy feeling. something is not totally clear. not yet. there is a real tug of war within. i know enough by now that i decide to let it sit a little bit instead of pushing ahead.

half a day later. as i do my daily abhyange, an ayurveda treatment that involves rubbing medicated oil over joints and body, i feel this squeeze in the heart. i rub a nice scoop of warm oil over the chest, feel better, and i remember something, something that happened years prior but the pain is fresh as ever. you see, i was in mortgage work at one point. i remember i worked hard, jumped thru fire hoops, to get a difficult loan through only to have the borrower walking away just before closing because they found a loan with lower interest rate online. technically they could do that. according to the industry practice none of the effort i put into mattered. yuck. i remember that ugly feeling vividly, as oil quietly permeate every pore of mine. i hate it now as much as i did then.

aaaah, wham. golden rule. don’t do unto others what you don’t want others to do to you. legally, technically i could return the shoes. but i would be treating people in the way i don’t want to be treated. i love a big saving but at the end of day this is about me walking the talk, living what i believe in.  as i contemplate this i realize something subtle has shifted. some veil is lifted. the mind, through which i think, speak and act has been cleansed in a deep way. the light of the heart is able to come through. i am able to discriminate, to see what truly matters is that i act from the place of the highest and most sacred self. that's the source of abundance.

so, now, how about i give a shout out to  abhyange. i truly believe that the treatment, prescribed according to my condition and performed authentically and diligently, contribute to diminishing the grip of such an old tendency on me, cleansing the lens thru which i perceive myself and the world. from that state i can see the connection between the teaching from an ancient sage and the situation at hand right now in 21st century.

photo by nat

there is more. it’s not that i didn’t have this realization before. i just didn’t act on it. it's not even that the old tendency comes back no more. far from it. the difference between then and this time is that i experience huge unease when i try to entertain the idea of returning the shoes. it’s a feeling of betrayal, turning my back on my own nature, my highest self. the force of highest self outweighs the opposing tug of old tendency. the pull is so strong that it becomes so easy to decide it’s smarter to yield to it. it's a physical sensation in the body, sickening, almost nauseous. emotionally i can't bear the horrific feeling if and when i return the shoes and say i get a better price online even though i wouldn't even know about this shoe without your expert service. the bottom line is this. the old tendency is no longer in the driver seat. my highest self is. once a patient, after much haggling with dr ramdas over her treatment plan, said, all right, i’ll surrender to you. dr ramdas said, no,  you are not surrendering to me, you are surrendering to your self.

dr ramdas showing me how to churn butter

i love money but, at the end of day, as dr ramkumar says, money is not the driving force. never. welcome, suk wah, to a deeper level of purification. amen.  

love potion # 6

photo by julie gammon

going thru major treatments like internal oleation is not a walk in the park, not for the faint-hearted. well, real and lasting love is not for the faint-hearted. no wonder the treatment of drinking oil is named SNEHAPANA. sneha, love. pana, drink. drinks of oil. drinks of love.

dr ramkumar says, the main treatment in panchakarma is equivalent to a major surgical procedure. seriously. it involves drawing toxin from all over the body into alimentary canal and then eliminating them. intense. just as one would experience physical discomforts in a surgical procedure, major treatment in panchakarma can involve such unpleasantness as well but they are all passing things if you follow thru with doctor’s instructions. doubt is the killer here. it gets in the way of the purification process.

a lady from moscow shares beautifully in daily satsang. she says, i was torturing doctor from day one, i compare what i had in other places, why am i not having 3 hr treatments, why is there not a lot of oil, i don’t have the pleasant feelings as i did in the other place, i want treatments like that. finally dr ramdas says, do you want good result or not? she says, yes. doctor says, then surrender. she says, what do you mean, surrender to you? doctor says, no, not surrender to me, surrender to yourself. good for her that she gets it. she stops comparing. by day six she begins to see results. that enhances her trust in the process. by the time she shares in the group she is beaming, looking light and bright.

what about my day six? last year i drank oil for 3 days. this year, 7. dr ramkumar says, is it easier this time? great question. i ponder for a moment and say, ‘deeper.’ by day 5 of drinking oil i begin to experience a piece of yogic knowledge that i have been hearing for two decades. it goes like this. as you intensify your meditation practice toxins that are lodged are loosened. they go into the circulatory system, ready to be dispelled. i have always thought that this is metaphorical. but, no. as my body is literally being saturated with oil all that hard-stuck toxin that are like hard-to-remove oven stains loosen up. since the cell walls are now more permeable because of the oil the toxins can be drawn out of the dark recesses into the alimentary canal, ready to be eliminated. it’s very physical. not just mental and emotional.

so what’s the experience like? from 5th day, really feel a lot of things floating around inside, negative thoughts, emotions but nothing sticks around long enough to gobble me up. suddenly it becomes so easy to see that there’s really nothing to worry or bother about, just things to take care of in the present. it becomes so natural to let go of expectations and outcome and just focus on the task at hand.

well, on day six of internal oleation the task at hand is to drink that cup of warm oil at 6 am. it happens to be Jan 1, 2013. i look into the golden oil. i ask doctor, ‘how many ml is this?’ not missing a beat, he says, ‘i’ll tell you later.’ if i had known there were 180 ml, could i have done it? i would but it would certainly create a little more mental hurdle. o, no, 180 ml. anyway, as it is i look at the beautiful oil and the thought that comes up is, OM NAMAH SHIVAYA. at the same time i see gurumayi’s beaming face. and that’s how i got it all down. with every gulp i say the mantra inside and hold my guru’s loving smile in attention.

by the way, two days later i received gurumayi’s 2013 new year message. mantra japa. what a moment of pure connection between my highest self and the guru within.

where am i? yes, back to love potion. drinking 180 ml of warm oil. what then? then...life becomes simple as can be outwardly. stay inside. sip hot water frequently. rest but not sleep. do burps smell oil? am i hungry?

what about inwardly? for one thing, heightened sensitivity, or shall i say, irritability. even doing japa, repeating mantra silently  with a mala is a lot of noise. at least that is from the perspective of hwubby. initially i feel ‘irritated’ when he says as much to me because, it’s like, how can that be noisy? but then i carefully recreate what i do and i see why. i place the mala on the thigh. some beads touch others. when i slip a bead through the thumb and mid-finger, there’s surely a sound produced by beads cling with one another. oy. yeah. now i feel his pain. do i feel hurt? yeah, a little, for a moment or two. but i also see that it is an old toxin, taking everything personal and blowing every petty thing into major drama. i am not saying having ear ache, belly ache, nausea are to be ignored. but the doctor is just a bell away. nothing is too trivial for them to examine and treat. everything is treatable if i pay attention to it soon enough. a couple of oil drops and wa-la, ear ache is gone. chew a tablet, pace around and nausea subsides. and so on and so forth. really. seriously. except for the truth that i am happiness, i am light, i am peaceful, all other thoughts are as fleeting as puffs of smoke. they don’t take away my self worth and they don’t add anything to my luminous self.

photos by nat

 may i continue to shed those dead skins in the year of golden snake. may those layers of ama that cover up all my lights dissolve and be dispelled. amen.

in the wilderness. numbers. vaidyagram

The simple days in vaidyagrama. washing clothes and putting them up on the clothesline become kind of a benchmark in my schedule. like, i started drinking ghee the day i did the last washing.what i want to say is kind of weird but as hwubby says, you are weird, accept it, so what to do but take myself as i am, all of the weirdness. what i want to say is,  as i study the book of numbers which is what we are doing now according to the cyclical design of torah study, i experience what the ancient rabbis said. by the way the hebrew name of this book actually means 'in the wilderness.' don't ask me why it is titled 'numbers' in english. i'm not a bible scholar. anyway this book is about what happens when the israelites are doing in those forty years in the desert. by and large they live by the direct command of the lord who guides them as a pillar of fire. when the fire pillar moves they pack up and move accordingly. when the fire pillar stops that's where they pitch their tents.  for food, manna come down from the sky. it tastes however one desires it to be. one of the ways of the rabbis look at this phase is, those are such marvelous days, we have such direct connection with the lord. somehow this reading resonates with me. as far as i am concerned, in a simple setting, following a simple routine has the power to turn attention within. okay, i am aware that it has not always been this way. for a long time a simple schedule would drive the mind nuts. but, boom, years later, here i am, thoroughly reveling in the sublime sweetness of act such as carefully spreading out a piece of clothing.

 the greens around me are not manicured lawns and landscaped gardens but rather like wilderness. dr ramkumar, one of the founders, is determined to create a forest setting, mimicking as much as possible how the ancient sages dwell. so, in a way, i am in the wilderness when i am in vaidyagrama. the sense of timelessness is pervasive. i love it.

living like a steady, bright flame

on the way to women torah study marcia, ever curious and open-minded, asks about my treatments in india. she says, why did you and ben commit so much resources to do it? six and a half weeks. it is a lot. a metaphor comes to me. it's something that dr ramkumar uses to explain what health is in the context of a human life.

it goes like this. in every indian ritual there is always one or more brass lamp. here's how it works. one or more wicks are soaked in oil, usually clarified butter. when the brass lamp is clean, the wicks are clean and the oil is pure the flame is bright and stable. as long as you replenish the oil and wicks the flames will keep ablaze just like that until the oil runs out. a healthy human life is kind of like this. you feed the body and mind with clean and pure food and thoughts. then your life force will be held bright and stable and so is your life. it's full, bright, beautiful and shining, an joyous upliftment to all who behold it. sure the flame will run out. whatever is born, will die. but the person will stay well and strong and go out in deep peace without having to go through the dying pains. in judaism it is said that the blessed one depart during sabbath. our rabbi's own beloved teacher avraham joschua heschel was like that. this is a great being who truly lived his talks and beliefs, a shining light to the world. i recall his daughter recalling life with her father. he lived simply. he ate simply but what he put into his body was quality food. he conducted his life in a just and righteous way, always kind, compassionate, generous and ready to serve. one thing his daughter said that really impresses me deeply is this. his life in the world was not easy, to say the least. but his daughter didn't recall a single instance when he came home after work and was not a kind and caring father to her. he is truly a pure and strong flame.

according to vedas the most important way to live healthy is, and this even comes before food, to think, speak and act in a righteous way. to this day when i look at rabbi heschel's picture i have the experience of being illumined in the presence of a sublime light.

back to the lamp analogy. say, the wick is dirty, the oil is impure, the lamp has not been sparkled until it shines. go imagine the state of the flame, the state of the person.

so, may we all live like a strong and robust flame that we ought to be. may we only feed our own flames with only the clean and pure in food and thoughts and feelings and emotions.

life of minimals. life of abundance

hwubby goes to a sunday brunch event. he says, i want  some suji and chapati before leaving the house. i say, o, okay. later in the day i say, how did it go? of course he knows i mean the food situation. he says, there’s omelette, lox, cream cheese. i say, that sounds great. he says, i don’t really want to have any of it, well, a little of it, but... i say, a-huh, it’s not like you have to have a whole plate of it. he says, yeah. pause. he says, i have herbal tea in phil’s. that’s the coffee place he likes to go to. in fact, he has the pic to prove it.

wow. this is major, fundamental transformation. it means his palate has changed in a huge way. actually, mine too. we’ve been back almost three weeks. by and large we have been eating the way we were in vaidyagrama. okay, except almond butter and sprinkling sugar on chapati. just simple vegetarian food. i think i can safely say on behalf of hwubby as well that we don’t feel deprived in any way. in fact we have no desire to eat any other way. this is huge shift. keep in mind this is the chinese new year season. all kinds of yum yum things are calling me. it amazes me that i don’t really miss them. not that i don’t remember how deliiiish they are. i don’t even miss not using onion and garlic.  hwubby says, i was in the grocery store, i had to be on a long line, i watch what’s going on and i just think to myself, how is it that we need five thousand varieties of everything. i know. dr ramkumar says, living a life without excesses, a life of minimals, is a life of abundance. so true. and it’s not just some truth some expert says. it’s my experience. i live it. it’s a state of abundance when the mind is that much quieter and clearer.

ramkumar rice pudding

what’s going on here? me and a bunch of ladies, not shown here in pic, are working our charm on dr harikrishnan. a kind and wise man who doesn’t beat around the bush. in his own words, he says, what do you want from me? i’ll get to that in a sec. the lead up to all this is this. i really want to eat the way i eat here when i go home, at least for two to three months so that we can really make space for the panchakarma benefits to blossom. my wish is granted. kavita, the mastermind and supervisor in this arena around here, in response to our request, sets up cooking classes.

at my special pleading, here in this class, she is making congee. at first a couple of ladies roll eyeballs and say, all in good lightheartedness, suk wah, what are you thinking, it’s just rice cooked in water, what’s there to that. well, turns out there’s more to that. to begin with, this is organic broken red rice. secondly kavita ladles the washed rice into boiling water. i forgot to ask her what’s the difference between doing this way and bringing rice and water to boil together. and then she lets the mixture cook uncovered, boiling rigorously. she stirs frequently, adds liquid periodically. brings to mind cooking risotto. cannot leave risotto unattended on stovetop. in twenty minutes, voila, just like risotto, a textured congee is ready. sort of like extremely soft rice and feels to the stomach full and light all at once.

then kavita says, at this stage you can add milk. boom. epiphany. i say, this is kheer? kavita says, yes, yes, you can add jaggery, nuts, raisins. i say, to finish her thought, cardamom. kavita beams, her moon face shines and she says, yes, yes. but, being so loyal to the vaidyagrama vision, she quickly says, you have to get doctor’s permission. it is at that moment that dr harikrishnan arrives on the scene. i seize the moment and say, you know how much we love you dr harikrishnan. not missing a beat he smiles and says, what do you want from me? we all laugh. then streams of sweet words flow at him from all four corners. o please, please, dr harikrishnan. finally he says, okay, one spoon. i can hear the reluctance and resistance in his voice. this dr harikrishnan. he has only one thing on his mind. the welfare of patients. he is kind, gentle, sensitive, soft spoken. when he says no it carries authority and gravitas. i would put my life in his hand in a heartbeat although it means saying bye bye to snacks and treats and even decaf.

anyway, a spoon of rice pudding is done deal, right? not so fast. a couple of hours later i am hopping to the hall for the evening program and so looking forward to the spoon of rice pudding in the group supper to come. you see, the milk comes from karuna's mom. who's she? here, meet my new friend, karuna's mom who supplies the milk for our treatments and treaties. she's like me when she is eating. very focused. no interest in anything else. that cutesie next to her is karuna. my point is the milk couldn't be fresher and lighter. it never ceases to amaze me how she eats grass and shoots out this super-nutritious and super-duper-yummy nectar.

i somewhat digress. anyhow i see dr harikrishnan and dr ramkumar sitting in the short passageway leading to the hall. after a sweet and happy exchange i thank dr harikrishnan for his mercy on us. dr ramkumar, in his signature sunshine grin, says, you see the doctors work in consensus here, one doctor says okay can be overturned. uc-oh, i say, you can't do that, dr harikrishnan is a man of honor. that dr ramkumar just won’t budge. he’s as charming as ever. he just won’t budge. he says, there'll be rice pudding, it’s going to be a modified version. all right, something is better than nothing. after all their eyes are all on keeping the stomach work as little as possible during panchakarma.

turns out this rice pudding is a highly modified version. sure, it’s more than one spoon. a small bowl of it. but i don’t taste any jaggery at all. an assistant doctor goes around with a pot of jaggery. when he comes round to me, i say, one tiny spoon, please? he says, no. only guests who are not in treatments can put jaggery into their ‘fake’ rice pudding. no no no,  i have a better name for this. the ramkumar rice pudding.

earlier in the evening program, dr ramkumar says to the effect, they have to choose between being a good host or good doctor. guess what these guys have chosen.

congee party

here in vaidyagrama they go for the real deal. only authentic ayurveda. what does that mean? dr ramkukar gets this question a lot. he says, we go by the classical, ancient ayurveda text, we act according to the text, we perform treatments as described in the text. but then this compassionate doctor also has another guiding principle. something is better than nothing. 

case in point. the text says the food during pancharma is kanji and boiled veg, twice a day, at ten thirty and five thirty. kudos to him he tirelessly finds innovative and lighthearted ways to get this across in our awareness. but he never says, you have to do this. rather, he understands that people, particularly those from the west, like, or more accurately, need a dinner party every now and then. so he would organize these communal supper after evening prayer. yes, we never skip evening prayer here. always promptly at six fifteen. anyway the cooking staff would bring in cookers, pots and pans and so on. he would beam with a mischievous twinkle and says, wine will be served after food. sure enough we would be served our cocktails, i mean our medicines. and we are ecstatic.

a couple of days ago there was one such supper for the occasion of russian orthodox christmas. a congee party. i’m not kidding. he has a pot of red rice congee, a pot of veg and a sprinkle bar set up on a marble bench. he plants his beaming face at the marble bench and serves a little bit of three powder mixes on each tray. coriander. curry. mint. and then he throws in his booming laughter and says, put a little of each in congee, tell me which one you like. i have to say. i love them all. i down two bowls. i look around. everybody is happy eating kanji. who knew. 

i offer salutations to these beautiful souls.

bowel talk

let me get this straight off the bet. bowel talk is big here. in fact, when dr harikrishnan comes at seven thirty in the morning, he asks four questions before he examines tongue and reads pulse. how’s sleep? bowel today? how’s appetite? urine normal? by the way chinese medicine is like that as well. when do you poop? what’s the poop like? consistency, color, odor? there’s a sheet that we have to fill in everyday that is titled ‘recording of bowel movement details.’ bowel talk is serious business here. not an evening program goes by without a mentioning from dr ramkumar or a question from someone going through panchakarma about bowel in one way or another. i’m not kidding. like i ask, is egg ayurveda correct? ramkumar says, among other things, egg increases constipation. one person asks, what if we make an omelette, or scramble egg? dr chuckles and says, doesn’t matter how you cook it, it’s still egg. the poor guy has been on seven days of drinking ghee, meaning seven meals of rice porridge. i can’t blame him for having thoughts of an omelette.

i don’t give it any thought to take psyllium everyday. but dr ramkumar says, in an evening program, from ayurveda’s point of view, if your body is strong, digestive fire is strong, you ought to be able to get out of bed in the morning and have bowel without using any external stimulant. in fact this is one of the fifteen major health indicators. i can say this much. if i don’t poop early in the day my meditation takes on a different quality and i  feel kind of off and stuffed and heavy and dull by the afternoon. on this note ramkumar tells a poignant true story. he is speaking to this person, a go-getter, a big busy guy apparently. the person believes he is healthy. ramkumar asks, at night can you go to bed and fall asleep quickly. the man says, no, that's the one thing i cannot do. then ramkumar asks, in the morning can you get up and get out of bed right away, feeling rested? the man says, no, i am not awake until i have coffee. ramkumar asks the third question, can you have bowel in the morning not taking anything else, not even water? the man says, i don't want to hear any more from you.

psyllium has its rightful place in the universe but if i can’t poop without taking it on a daily basis, it’s dependency, it’s attachment. we chinese say, you can’t just treat the headache or footache. in the same way, ayurveda doesn’t treat constipation. it treats the person with this condition of constipation. when i tell dr harikrishnan i have been having bowel by seven thirty, before he comes, for four days, a big smile flashes across his otherwise usually serious expression. indeed i have been feeling lighter, clearer. i feel free.