Monday, June 6, 2011

inevitable karmic outcome. fiery grace.

someone left this comment on my post 'birthday gift in form of violence.' it says, did this really happen? or dream? let me put it this way. it happens on the physical plane. it's so fascinating to see the dream quality of it. on the same episode, hwubby has his own version. here's how it goes down. he is aware that the bus stop at a corner. quite a few people are getting off and on. something catches his eye. a man dashes out of the cluster of people. he has this insane look about him. this is what is still haunting me about this man's presence. the qualities that come to mind are disturbed, bedraggled, disheveled. hwubby sees him yanking the bike off the rack in front of the bus. on the dot he runs across the bus and yells, stop him, he's stealing my bike. hwubby almost gets him because the man loses his balance while a truck barely stops in time. as i blog this i realize the truck could have hit both the guy and hwubby. anyway before hwubby could lay his hands on this guy he already rebalances himself and slips away. on  the bike.

as hwubby recounts this to me i see this shift in my perspective of this experience. i recall what the scriptures say about karma. chinese put it this way. whatever i think, speak and act there is consequence. it may come this lifetime or some later one. which one? how? that's out of my control. there are pieces in my karma profile that cannot be changed at their core or avoided. but the power of grace can diminish their impact. how does that work in this case? call me imaginative, i don't care. it couldn't have been so much worse. this guy might have a gun, or's where i pull in resolve not to feed the negative thoughts. it is what it is. i am grateful. we are grateful. as my fellow esteemed yogis harry and helen say, you'll forget the bike but meditation and rudram will always be with you. thanks so much, harry and helen, for reminding me about what's real, what's not.

hey, now i remember a story. my great-grand-baba would sit for days without moving. one day he gets up, goes into the forest. according to the people who are with him he knows exactly where he is going. they arrive deep in the forest and sees a snake sit in a coil. swiftly my great-grand-baba goes up to the snake. the snake stays utterly still even in the moment it is struck dead. people are stunned. they say, why do you commit such a violet act, baba? he says, this soul killed me in another lifetime, that's why he is now low in the life chain, he's waiting for me to finish this karma, i receive his call in meditation, now he is free, he can move up.

aaah. may i be free of resistance, lack of understanding and the inability to surrender.

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