Thursday, July 1, 2010

let the fears go. go. go.

another teacher dream. teaching dream.

i am assigned a position to directly serve the teacher's mission. day after day i set out on time. yet i have great difficulty just to get there.

at one point i see my teacher passing by while i am doing some preparation. i say, good morning. she says back, good morning. she's wearing a red tailored jacket and black legging and high heels. very clean and chic.

at another point i find myself underneath her chair. i can hear her voice but i can't find my way out from under the chair. actually it is kind of nice under there. i look into the bottom of the chair. it's like looking through the bedcover when i am totally under it. lights are filtering through the yellow parts of the fabric. the other parts are red.

hwubby says, you are working through another phase in your book, you say you are working towards the book you want to write, so it sounds like the dream has to do with the fears coming up in this process.

this morning's meditation has a lot to do with sensing pockets of wordless, irrational fears looming in and coming up. what are they about? fear of getting lost. fear of not up to it. but they are not gripping, nor paralyzing. i just have to keep letting them go and be gentle with myself at the same time.

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