be strong. be strong. be strengthened.

hwubby says, how are you doing? i say, one breath at a time, one step at a time. at the conclusion of every book in the five book of moses we sing this: be strong. be strong. be strengthened. this is my mantra of the moment. it's not that the inner self needs any strengthening or the reminder. it's the connection to the inner self that has to be vigilantly and constantly cultivated. it's the awareness, that has been so habituated to be populated with 'weedy' thoughts, has to be reminded over and over. now i am experiencing what mahatma ghandi was talking about: this is the war that i must engage in. and victory is guaranteed as long as i stand on the side of divine grace and keep putting in my effort. hwubby says, yeah, and i thought i could do it once and it would be done.

i already have the crown jewel

hwubby says, i'm having these moments being really quiet, easeful, not 'exciting,' buzzing, nothing like that, just easeful, relaxed and a sense that 'nothing's in the way.'

since i'm a one trick pony i take this as an articulation of an experience being connected with the inner
self. well, to be more precise, an experience being the inner self for that's what i truly am. the body and all that habitual tendency are but wardrobe. i may like this garment better than that one. that's fine. but i am not the garment, not even if it's haute couture from prada. my grand-teacher says, i don't need anything but i can have preferences.

i have my fashion magazine moments when i sit on the toilet bowl. then i would say to hwubby, look at this rock from harry winston. he says, do you want it? i say, nope, i look at it and that's enough. the truth of the matter is i already have the crown jewel. my own inner self.

hey, wait a sec. i am the crown jewel. hwubby says, yeah, shining wify.