i have access to boundless strength and clarity

today's meditation is mostly....thought waves. and jolts of impatience. at several points i feel like i am on the verge of either exploding on the spot or i must get out of meditation. i summon up all the will i can gather and forcefully breathe in deep and breathe out long. again, again and again. eventually a tiny flash of insight shines forth. fear of uncertainty. discomforts of not knowing the outcome. then mysterious alchemy happens. the unbearable intensity of discomforts comes down little by little. i end up meditating almost two hours, feeling more anchored in my inner self, filled with the conviction that i have access to boundless strength and clarity.