what's the most awful feeling? for me, it's loneliness. the horrific impact it can have on my state of consciousness sends chills and shudders through me even just faintly remembering it used to control how i lived.
not anymore.
as i am sitting comfortably in the ocean sound of the easy breath watching this old habitual tendency whiffing past is truly like sitting by the river and watching debris flow by in the running stream. just watch it. no need to jump into the waters and pick up the dead branches, rotting leaves and examine them.
being with my inner self feels the polar opposite of lonely. i don't need any company from outside to feel like this. the sense of enoughness is powerful beyond measure. the mind is tranquil, clear and strong. in this state i hear this: lonely feeling is the yearning to be with your own self within.
but i couldn't see it for what it was with a weak, foggy mind.
hwubby says, in this morning's meditation i really see i am the reflection of god's light.
i say, you and god's light are one and the same.
what a sweet family we are.
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