38 m + 18 m. 2 truffle balls look into anxious thought.

i awake. no, to be exact, it's the mind that is awake. not the body. no, to be accurate, i can't locate where the body is. i know i should have one. yet my awareness is being held in this place where there is no contours set by the body, or anything.

i know i am not going mad because i turn to hwubby and say, the body is not waking up.

we hold each other. surely this is the best way to wake up: 2 creamy, soft, fragrant truffle balls warming up each other.

hwubby says, do you have anxious thoughts?

his question comes precisely when i watch an anxious thought passing through. right now i can't even recollect what it is about. but here's the deal. in the moment when that anxious thought is the only thing in my mind it really looks and feels like it matters.

yes, indeed. anxious thoughts are ocean foam. they look so real.

i digress. back to hwubby's question. i say, i do, i have one right now.

hwubby says, so what do you do about it?

i say, i breathe, and i take it as the sign that i need to get up to meditate.

hwubby chuckles. we hold each other some more. and get up.

in this morning's meditation, the body in the easy lotus posture comes across as a huge, vast structure with no horizon. a subtle throb pulses through the body in a steady rhythm. sweetness upon sweetness.