sacred bath ritual

i didn't meditate this morning. what happened? because i was in the ashram temple at 4 for a sacred bath ritual. to do that i had to get up and get going at 3.

as i wait outside the temple before the temple is open i take it all in. the silence is deep and beautiful. the light is low. through the glasses in the double doors i watch a beehive of activity inside. an army of sari clad beautiful women of all ages, and some men, strong and dedicated in indian outfits or suits, doing a whole range of tasks. nothing is too small to pay full attention to. stacks of trays of small cups of fresh fruit salad to be gifted to all the participants. garlands and bouquets of fresh flowers. piles of folded blankets to keep everybody warm. special chanting books for the occasion. under dim lighting and from the distance i see people doing seating, putting out lines of chairs and blanket squares to make sure as many people as possible can be seated comfortably in an orderly and easeful manner. audio equipment are set up. permeating in the atmosphere is the exquisite fragrance of devotion, experience and focus blended in perfect balance.

time and time again throughout the vedic prayers i lose grasp of the sanskrit syllables and find myself plunged into depths below the ocean of sound. there, time is not linear. we are not separate individuals. it is the experience of being and being one. when i emerge from this formless, timeless consciousness i am right back into the sacred sound ocean.

no sooner than the ritual is completed it begins to drizzle gently. in vedic beliefs this is a sign that nature, the universe, heaven and the deities are pleased with what we are offering. as i revel in the soothing sound of raindrops caressing the tarp scaffolding over us i am wrapped in this sense of bright and luminous gratitude.

i didn't sit down formally for meditation but i meditated as deep as can be in the presence of all these dedicated and selfless yogis.

surviving a mental storm

there is one tendency i really thought i had uprooted it. every last tendril of it. this is boring. i'm not having any meditation experience.

not so fast. it returns this morning. for a little while i see a variety of same-o same-o reactions clouding in on the mental horizon. i couldn't believe it. what's going on? why? i've had it. i can't deal with this anymore. same-o same-o feelings. agitation. restlessness. the body is fidgeting like a gazillion ants crawling all over me.

at a moment like this the only thing i have to fall back on is the power of the practices. it's like i've been saving up a pile in a bank account for rainy days. and this is a rainy day to draw on my savings.
so i turn attention over to the sound and movement of the breath. i say to the inner self, i can't do this on my own, please take me across, i need your help. i make a conscious effort to let awareness plunge into the ocean of the breath. again and again. it works. i come out of meditation feeling like surviving after a storm. stronger. surer. inner sky clear and calm. ready to take care of what need to be done today with determined focus.

1 hr 10 m, don't block grace, $3 oscar de la renta sweater

the pre-dawn clean, crisp cool spikes. aaahhh, time to pull out my must-have winter meditation gear: the 3 dollar oscar de la renta sweater.

i got it in the goodwill store in kailua. i never expected to get a sweater in hawaii. i never wanted to go shopping in hawaii, not just goodwill. but hwubby really wanted a hawaiian shirt but, let me put it this way, he has couture aesethetics but we are not ready, willing and able to pay for couture.

andrea, our friend-hostess-sage, says, go to goodwill and while you are there you should look at their sweaters.

hey, from our experiences with andrea over the years we know she is the type who rarely dispenses advice uninvited, so when she does we know there's something there.

so off we go.

hwubby finds a shirt he likes and this dark emerald-green soft sweater that has a high stand-up collar that is extra-insulated-and-lined-and-zipped up to my chin.

i say, it's gorgeous but i don't need another sweater. he says, no, you can use it in the mornings when it is cold, it covers your neck and it is soft.

 he's right, i have to use an extra soft cashmere scarf wrapped around the neck in the winter mornings. i take a look at the label and the price. i say, i'll take it.

hwubby shows me the receipt in the car. my jaws drop. 1 dollar for his shirt, 3 dollars for the sweater? hwubby beams and says, it turns out there is some sale going on. sale at goodwill? who knew? what do i know? nothing.

today marks the beginning of yet another winter season. aloha, my meditation companion. you keep me warm and comfy. you show me how we can block grace flowing abundantly into our lives if we limit ourselves with preconceived notions. a big, big thank-you.