Wednesday, January 26, 2011

her husband is coming home faster than she thought

kaiser rehab says hwubby can be released this saturday. hwubby believes he is ready to come home. so, why am i feeling i am about to crash? am i shrinking from what it is? true that he has been making phenomenal progress. he's now able to get in and out of bed with minimal help and someone watching over him. he can climb up six to seven steps with hand rail. he can go into and out of bathroom with minimal assistance. having said that he is in the shelter of an army of competent medical professionals who work in shifts. once home, i am the primary caregiver. we don't have grown kids who can help. i am half his size. physical strength is not my strong suit. true that many people have offered to help. so why am i still feeling overwhelmed? feeling he is coming out too soon? am i resisting? is an expectation of mine being unmet? as the medical equipment person says, her husband is coming home faster than she thought. my guru says, you are equal to the challenge, no bigger, no smaller, but equal. and she also says, trust and verify. so here's what i'm gonna do. today i go in for a full day of family training. i'll go in with an open mind. i'll make efforts to not push or over-exert and strive to be honest with what i see and how i feel. and see what happens.

i have a hunch to check email before meditation. only i new one. lois says she can help with some shopping, cooking and some shifts to give me time off. maybe this is the sign.

to be continued...

1 comment:

  1. I sympathize with you, Suk Wah! I remember earlier you wrote how it breaks your heart to see your husband in such pain. You have been through a lot, as well as your husband. This responsibility is being passed to you, and it's not like you have been resting up and are all fresh and ready for the challenge. Also, it is the insurance companies that pushed for people being released from the hospital faster than ever before. It's a dollar based decision rather than a best care decision, but it's the direction health care went in the US because it had no other choice.
    But that said, you have divine grace in your life, and it will see you through. I can see that you use the teachings and practices in your own life and examine your life so that you can be in alignment with the divine. I think you are better equipped than most spouses facing the same situation. I will continue to pray for you both. I'm confident that our guru's grace will see you both through this challenge. Love, courage and strength to you!