out of coppola self, into my own self

i go to sleep with this question. how do i bring the immortal world and human world together? i don't have the answer. not yet. not as far as the regular conscious mind goes. but i do remember something hwubby says, maybe the character dreams, and then the dreamworld, little by little, seeps into her world until she can no longer tell they are separate.

anyhow yesterday i read two pieces of spiritual writings, one by my guru, the other by a top fave swami who has been serving the guru's mission to impart the teaching of the supreme self for decades with unwavering devotion. guess what? both include revelations through dreams. and guess what? i dream last night. here's how it goes. actually i should say this is what i recall.

the entryway to the dream is like a rippling lake surface. i can see gorgeous dancing lights that are refractions of what's on the other side. i go straight through like walking into a lake without getting wet. beyond the shifting surface is a world where time does not go by in a linear fashion. how do i know that? i see a spread of beautiful, vibrant sprouts. one patch catches my eye. tiny lavender buds. they flower into full four-petaled bloom in an unhurried manner in front of my watch. the scent is sublte and intoxicating.

then i see sophie coppola. she is in a spaghetti strap dress. pink and fitted with a floral, ruffled hemline. i see she is frustrated trying to explain something to an audience and getting more and more so. in the dream i am calm and centered. i simply walk up. i say to her, is this what you want to say, it's probably the language. immediately she looks utterly relieved.

i tell hwubby the dream. he says, you are now in this frustrated coppola self. you just have to go back into your own self. you have a question. you ask your self. and trust what comes to you.

all this fabulous existence is, in the end, a fabulous movie.

this thing about 'remember your own death' works like a charm for me. as i contemplate on it i realize what happens is it takes away all the edge and bondage of fear. fear of unknown. fear of uncertainty. fear of doing something wrong. fear of getting 'no' as the response. fear of losing money, house, whatever, but no exception. fear of no praise. fear of blame. fear of criticism. seeing that none of this matters when i am dying frees me up. my awareness becomes steeped in the inner self which is that part of me that is immortal.

a flash of this understanding is great. and what i need to do is keep my meditation practice going to make sure the flash builds, and builds, and builds, until i am one with the understanding. i am none other than the inner self. all this fabulous, fantastic existence is, in the end, a fabulous, fantastic movie. a grand and dazzling play of lights of consciousness.