i stick to the schedule. i need it.

i am taking a quick scan of the arc of events in the last month.  right away one thing is clear. regardless of the roller coaster developments of circumstances i want to stick to my schedule of meditation, spiritual practices and torah study. having said that i am perfectly willing to stay with what's unfolding and do what's necessary to make sure hwubby is on a path to full and irreversible recovery. guess what happens? i have to fly across country two times in less than a week, commute between vallejo and oakland and i have not missed a torah study and i meditate every morning. as a matter of fact i chant guru gita every morning during my stay in vallejo, as well as shiva arati. without a doubt i need the schedule, i need the practices to hold me firm in the place of the inner self. from here i am happy no matter what goes up and comes down outside of me, i don't care who thinks what about me, i feel fortunate, abundant and soooo grateful. hwubby feels the same too.

i need to keep the schedule

so much going on. so much unexpected twists and turns. all the more necessary for me to keep up with the schedule of spiritual practices. i need to keep the schedule. morning meditation and guru gita are must. only then i can stabilize and strengthen the mind in the understanding and awareness of who and what i am and not getting swept into the seesaw of emotions, thoughts and feelings, within me and in others. not the least is the pressures from all directions saying, you must do this, you ought to do that, no, you are wrong, you shouldn't ask this or do that. blah blah blah. this is the opportunity to cultivate standing up and speaking up for myself in hwubby and my highest and best interests while working through the system of rules and counting our fortunes. on that note, how about this one? i come out of meditation, prepare breakfast. ginger tea and a slice of toast. this is no ordinary toast. my gracious and generous host karun makes this phenomenal bread from sprouted organic grains, incl wheat berries, rye, millet, and mung beans. the loaf is covered with flax seeds. every slice is a meal in itself. a bite into it and i feel the body say, i love it.