get outta mitzrayim.

what is the essence of passover? why is something ancient relevant to me right now? once i find out the layers of meaning of the hebrew word, mitzrayim that is translated into egypt my love for passover has never looked back. really. check this out. a narrow place. narrow consciousness. where you are stuck in slave consciousness. hear this insight. you can take a slave out of egypt but you can't take the egypt out of him/her. i examine my own journey. so true. i have these fantastic experiences of who i am, courage, strength, joy, all that good stuff and so much more. yet, time and time again, because of limiting thoughts and feelings and emotions based in poverty consciousness which is none other than slave consciousness i behave like a lacking person who depends on others' mercy. and so i have to wander in the wilderness, build up that inner strength and clarity. after all, in the desert what else is there to see outside. not much. between the cosmos and sand i look within and, behold, i see what i am. i taste manna, throbs of sweet peace, waves of steady strength pulsing through my entire being. the hunger and thirst in body and soul are satisfied. so i say it again and again to myself, pass over mitzrayim, get outta mitzrayim. may it be so.

glorious meatball soup

on one hand i am a meditation nut, total believer. on another hand at the end of a long and difficult day there's nothing like a bowl of steaming glorious meatball soup that, in one spoonful and bite can instantly lift me up to the seventh heaven. the adorably sized meatballs are featherlight and juicy and perfectly textured and seasoned. without a doubt the best meatballs i have ever had. ever. hwubby agrees. and the soup is light and rich all at once. loads of cabbage and carrot. my body and mind heave a huge sigh of relief as the flavorful and fragrant warmth course through all the tight and stressed out nooks and crannies. and here's the wonder of all wonders. one bowl and i don't feel hunger gnawing me. i am satisfied. gulping down some more would be violating the sacredness of such divine creation. so, thank you, a big thank you to orah. you sure know how to ball up magic.

eating and cooking are her meditations

i haven't started transcribing the session with my editor yet because i want to look at it from an open space of quiet, stillness and brightness. or else i'll be looking at the situation through the lens of i'll get lost, i can't hold it all. so, in the last several days, every meditation reveals, or shall i say illumine, one thing my editor says. today is this. suk wah, you write about food so beautifully, can you put it to a bigger use?

as i chew on this nugget i begin to see that this is where craftsmanship comes in. i really thought i had, through painting pictures of the heroine's relationship with food, that food is her spiritual path, eating and cooking are her spiritual practices. as my writing coach...and that happens to be hwubby...says, she is always hungry. hungry is a spot on descriptive for this character. she is consumed by hunger. the way she was raised and conditioned she understood this hunger as insatiable desires for food. it's how she soothes herself and calms the racing mind. so i thought i didn't have to spell it out in so many words to say that eating and cooking are her communions, her meditations. i say, i don't want to be preachy. editor says, you can do it in a sentence, even a phrase, very light-handed, but you must do it or else you lose the reader, nobody can endure pages after pages of eating lox and bagels and have no idea where you are going with it.

i see. i have to connect dots and i have to reduce.