olympics, meditation

at this stage in my life i am appreciating the olympics through the eye of a meditator, someone who wants to attain self-realization. huuuuf, there i said it. by the way, am i going for the impossible? hey, why not aim for the highest.

as i revel in the performances of olympians this is what goes thru the mind. wow, such resolve and determination they have. what sacrifices they have endured to come to this point. so much blood, sweat and tears they must have poured forth over a long period of time. i hear that michael phelps practiced all days of the year for years. i know i ought not to compare. but i really can't say i have been doing what i need to do as a spiritual student with that kind of unyielding, uncompromising tenacity and focus. for a start, i meditate six days a week, sometimes even five. on one hand i say to myself, you have to be gentle with yourself. on another hand, using a metaphor, do i want to skip having food for a day?

soon after seeing this thought i realize a couple of things. first, don't compare. just don't. it's toxic. if i had to compare, why don't i compare with my own progress, how far i have come. look at these gorgeous fruits. the plants bear fruits  in their own pace. do i ever say this makes one fruits better than the other?

second, to realize the self is a life goal. it is smart and wise to treat the body and mind in such a way that i can sustain doing the practices and study over the course of a lifetime. self-realization is not a quadrennial event with a fixed deadline.

thirdly, and sweetly, i don't have to wait until completely and irrevocably self-realized to enjoy the fruit.  on the contrary as i continue to do the practices regularly sweetness keep arising from within. the sweetness of strength, the sweetness of courage, the sweetness of contentment, that golden experience of being satisfied and fulfilled, tasting the priceless gem of love.

a pill for self-realization?

i have to confess. my scope and breadth of experience with pharmaceuticals start with tylenol and end with aleve. and i have a tendency which is quick to judge. piled on with what happened to my late little sister i sort of dismiss western medicine as 'drug and cut.' now with a vitamin d prescription because of vitamin insufficiency - really, i already feel better when doc says i am not deficient, just insufficient - i notice something interesting happening within. there is this huge sense of relief simply knowing that all this chronic low grade below optimal energy level may be because of this. i gobble up all this info popping up upon googling 'what the heck is this vitamin d deficiency is all about'. okay, not exactly in those words but that's how i feel. it brings up such a heightened sense of hope and expectation and excitement. wow, just taking one or two pills a day for three months may cure me from this condition once and for all. what a happy ending to this soap opera. this is surely the equivalent of asking my guru, is there a pill for full self-realization?