please don't give me more than i can handle

just when i think things have turned a corner i'm presented with another test. today is no different. it has been like this for what i feel like eons. each day i jump through hurdles, go through fire hoops, one or more positive development happens and, boom, it looks like everything is going to fall apart all over again. what else can i do but to refuse to get out of the present moment and focus on the task at hand?! this morning's meditation is nothing but deep quiet. i feel safe in my own self. anchored there i just take care of everything as it is. really, please, i want to get fully realized but please don't give me more than i can handle. please.