have no fear. inner self is always with me

my teacher says again and again, to this effect, go higher into your own self, deeper into your own self, you'll see things you couldn't see before. i am having a powerful experience of that. here's how it goes down. at one point it looks like it's all but certain we have to sell our house. do i panic? no. am i upset? a little but i quickly see it as passing cloud. i don't attach my self worth to anything outside of myself. period.

a few days later, a question comes up in meditation. and then another. i take these questions to see the person i trust most in this kind of matter. by the end of our dialogue i see a road map to resolve the situation. there are actually two possible ways to resolve it and they are ways we can manage. hwubby says, this is unbelievable, one moment i am all but certain we are doomed, the next moment it all works out, i couldn't believe it.

as if that's not good enough, yet another insight comes to me in this morning's meditation. i see the pathway to blend in the two ways to become the third possibility. now we have not one, not two, but three options. actually, as i am journaling i see a fourth one. talk about abundance consciousness. which one to go with? i see a sequence. i'll try one. if that doesn't work, i'll go to the next. and so on and so forth. meanwhile i'll keep a close watch and an open mind to the ever-shifting circumstances. really. have no fear. the inner self is always with me.

challenges are bigger. i am bigger

this morning's meditation brings up the tendency of contracting, daunted by the challenges we are facing, including we may have to sell the house. meanwhile the back and forth with my editor is accelerating. she says, you are a very unconventional writer, most of the time it works, but sometimes it doesn't. i get it. i say, i'm open to using 'conventional' things. i can find ways to make them work for me. so as i journal this i realize i have never been following a conventional path and i have always been great at staying with a challenge and finding unconventional ways that work. with that i feel a sense of centering spreading all over me. a house is a house is a temporary configuration of consciousness. we are going to do what is necessary to see we can keep it but whatever the outcome is it has nothing to do with our inner selves. they are always pure and strong. ahhh. that's it. i am always pure and strong and centered unless i choose to be thrown off balance by some temporary configuration of consciousness. this is great. i see that i am more and more grounded in my own highest and innermost self. the reality that the challenges are getting bigger and bigger is a reflection of my progress on the path towards full-realization.