her husband is coming home faster than she thought

kaiser rehab says hwubby can be released this saturday. hwubby believes he is ready to come home. so, why am i feeling i am about to crash? am i shrinking from what it is? true that he has been making phenomenal progress. he's now able to get in and out of bed with minimal help and someone watching over him. he can climb up six to seven steps with hand rail. he can go into and out of bathroom with minimal assistance. having said that he is in the shelter of an army of competent medical professionals who work in shifts. once home, i am the primary caregiver. we don't have grown kids who can help. i am half his size. physical strength is not my strong suit. true that many people have offered to help. so why am i still feeling overwhelmed? feeling he is coming out too soon? am i resisting? is an expectation of mine being unmet? as the medical equipment person says, her husband is coming home faster than she thought. my guru says, you are equal to the challenge, no bigger, no smaller, but equal. and she also says, trust and verify. so here's what i'm gonna do. today i go in for a full day of family training. i'll go in with an open mind. i'll make efforts to not push or over-exert and strive to be honest with what i see and how i feel. and see what happens.

i have a hunch to check email before meditation. only i new one. lois says she can help with some shopping, cooking and some shifts to give me time off. maybe this is the sign.

to be continued...