i'm a closet meditator

i meditate inside a closet. literally. but there was a time, and for quite a long time, i felt embarrassed to tell people i meditate and i love it. so during that time i was, figuratively speaking, a closet meditator. when did i come out? i can't remember a specific moment. it's more a gradual thing. little by little, day by day, i see that the power of meditation keeps me steady and brings me back on track in the roughs and tumbles of life. it's like, this is the force that keeps me going and going good, i ought to feel proud of it. so i come out.

toni morrison, wisdom

the best advice to condileeza rice i have heard is from toni morrison. in a public conversation a couple of years back, cornel west asked ms morrison, if you could say one thing to condileeza rice what would that be? ms morrison thought quietly for a moment and said, with great compassion and clarity, i would tell her, get another job.

truly wisdom in action.

breakthrough

in the midst of meditation it becomes clear to me that i'm still tying my self worth with the publishing status of my novel. hey, when and how it might happen, has no bearing on my Self worth. doesn't mean i don't feel frustrated and impatient. but frustration and impatience are emotions and I am the Self. clouds come, clouds go, and the sky is the sky. 

right there

36 rounds of aumm and i am right there, deep in my inner world, aloft in the steady rhythm of the breath. it never ceases to amaze me how i can have a sure sense of the body limits while experiencing the vastness of my total being. the outbreaths are long, sending off thin dark veil of residual tendencies. and breath by breath, i feel a little more steeped in my own strength and courage.

no eating before meditating...

except when it's food prepared by a seasoned meditator. my spiritual sister, shivaa, is determined to feed us before our group evening meditation. initially i was skeptical. but not anymore. for example, last night, she made this sicilian salad with roasted garlic and eggplant, olives, tomato, lettuce and arugula, paired with a soup of pureed fava beans and pearls of sweet, fresh corn, infused with the aromas of lemongrass and bay leaves. dessert was a big bowl of cherries, figs and watermelon.

how was the meditation? i was quickly in the depths of the ocean of consciousness, quiet, still and satisfied. i let go of the sense of time passing. eventually i began to rise through the waters at a steady pace, returning to regular awareness. by the time i was about to come to the surface i heard shivaa's firm and gentle voicing inviting us to come out of meditation. perfect timing. perfect food. perfect company. 

38 + 8 min

swells of refreshingly cool currents spring from the lower back, flow into the cheeks and fingertips. outbreaths are long, bringing a nice feeling with it, releasing the tension in some hidden nooks and crannies.

today's flavor of my Self is sweet strength. as i go about taking care of biz affairs it's empowering and reassuring all at once to know that none of that has bearing on my Self worth.

meryl streep as 'auntie' julia

i saw a clip of ms streep as julia child, my auntie julia. i adopted julia child as my aunt after i saw her the first time, eating a hamburger after making one with equally great care and enthusiasm. it's obvious that she was very knowledgeable about food but the curiosity and excitement were fresh. the joy of eating, the delight of cooking, was popping off the screen with irresistible potency. i had no idea of who this elderly lady was. on the spot i fell in love with her.  wish i could have been there, biting off that burger, allowing the alchemy of the orchestra of ingredients to blossom into a pool of sensory pleasure. 

now, i must say ms streep is, without a doubt, a great actress with amazing skills and talents. but, somehow, from the clip, i had this sense that she doesn't luuu-ve eating and cooking with all the fibers of her being. as far as i am concerned, that luuu-ve is what makes my auntie julia so luuu-vable, so special. sorry, ms streep.