pain and pleasure

it's snowing beautifully. late february in portland, oregon. at the same time hwubby is sick. all night he vacillates between feverish and chills. he feels achy all over, particularly in the bones and heaviness in the chest. given he has broken ribs this is a cause for concern. he sips rice porridge, honey lemon. by the way, i have a big bag of meyer lemons, that are from karuna's orchard, sitting at home in oakland. but i have to buy lemon here at ninty-nine cents each. ridiculous. anyhow, anyhoo, the doctor says his chest is clear - very fortunate - and he has some sort of virus that will take seven to ten days to clear, and if it is not by then, back to the doctor. so what's my point here? my hunch is this drastic change in weather is hard on his body that is going through a huge healing process. this snow is pleasing to the eyes but it is causing pains. and that is how it goes in this physical world. a pleasurable thing has a dark streak. always. the law of duality rules here.

hwubby in bellevue hospital

it could have been so much worse. hwubby was hit by a taxi in new york city. he was thrown into the air, dented the hood, cracked the windshield before hitting ground. pretty beat up. his attending physician in bellevue hospital says, broken ribs are the worst pain. and hwubby has a bunch of them, besides a broken clavicle, cracked pelvis, lung bruises and liver lacerations. o, yes, a broken pinkie too. but he is very, very lucky. no surgery is necessary. yes, there are bruises but none on his face. he's going through phenomenal physical pains but his mind is clear. in fact he was conscious the whole time these two thousand tons of accelerating steel hit him.

this happened last friday night. now, four days later i find myself gazing into a magical world created by a night of snow as i stand in the living room of this garden level apartment in chelsea. i just come out of a sweet meditation. it's warm quiet all around me and within me. how can i not feel safe, supported and cared for when there have been abundant loving help streaming in everywhere through everyone that i cross path with. as my guru says again, all this is grace, all this is grace, all this is grace.

i couldn't have created a better set up to cultivate what i want to cultivate. patience. and so i feel grateful and tranquil, deeply tranquil.