am i complaining? absolutely not.

here i am watching this pain in the lower back. what a great opportunity to cultivate witness consciousness. i take care of it. make no mistake. i am not pollyannish about it. yet, i am not the pain. i am pure consciousness. my torah study buddy says, how are you doing, suk wah? i say, i'm striving to keep my head above water. and i burst into laughter. he says, doesn't sound like you are complaining. i say, absolutely not, i am alive, hwubby's healing is on the way, the things that matter are in place and there's torah study tomorrow. i am happy.

we almost can't make it

should have listened to that inner voice. case in point. no sooner than i begin to lift the wheelchair in preparation of taking hwubby to a haircut i feel a little something in the lower back. i go ahead with lifting the wheelchair out of the door and carry it through the front porch and walkway navigating the seven and two steps on a slope and place the wheelchair on the sidewalk. at that point i feel discomforts in the lower back. i can't tell whether it's pain or because it's the usual tightness in the mornings. i have never had back problem before. and so i get on with it while being careful about my postures. between the wheelchair, walker and cane a walk to the hair cut place that normally would take a few minutes end up...forty-five minutes. every move is super slow. never before are hwubby and i so keenly aware of the unevenness in the pavement. all in all, it takes half a day to get our hair cut. and my back is officially hurting. there are moments when i see the thought, i don't know if we are going to make it to the haircut. and now i must listen to this inner message. take care of it before it gets worse.

off to the chiropractor we go tomorrow.