mindstopper. mindfiller.

on the way to doing practices in shivaa's house shri says, can you share with me something from the poem 'breakthrough?' you bet. so i recite it up to where i am working on. something astonishing happens. i realize, after i finish, that i have completely forgotten one particular verse. why? what happens within me? gazing into the low hanging, dark gray clouds that forcast thundershowers at least i know it has to do with what this verse is talking about. all that which create one wave after another and they strike me and wash me clean. i say to shri, what do you think is the difference between 'resistance' and 'the inability to surrender?' after a momentary pause shri says, this is a mindstopper. bingo. voila. she nails it. these words, pregnant with the master's intention, have the power to stop the mindfillers, all that which take me out of the present moment, disconnect me from being in the joy and love of the inner self. at the end of the day whatever the contents of the mental clouds are they have nothing to do with my own true nature. they may be thundershowers, even thunderstorms. they come. and they go. it's just a matter of time that they will go. unless i hold onto them.

and so it is i immerse myself into the chanting and meditation with fellow yogis. by the time we sing aum all this fantastic electricity spark within me as the choir of sound and resonance strike me and wash me clean.

i emerge hungry, all ready for shivaa's sublime food. i can't have enough of her new creation. check this out. scoop a nice mound of her spring salad of pea shoots, mango, cabbage and carrots, sprinkled with roasted sesame and lemon verbena onto fresh lettuce leaves direct from her veggie garden. generously dollop balinese peanut butter sauce. wrap it up. take a bite. an explosion of freshness and aliveness. this is juicy and crisp love in a wrapper. for soup she puts together adjuki bean, butternut squash, coconut milk and dried mushroom. it's nourishing beyond measure. i have two big bowls.

i have to confess i am not a big fan of rhubarb and i don't eat honey that has been cooked. so very reluctantly i have to almost pass on the gluten-free rhubarb, strawberry dessert. but it looks so good, like, to die for. i say 'almost' because i can't help but have a little bit with vanilla cream. what can i say. to die for, almost:)